My post-pandemic backto-school guide: Part I
MANY of our kids are currently on their summer break. In a few weeks, before we all know it, our kids will soon head back to school. Depending on the school, most will have face-to-face or at least hybrid classes already. When this happened for my kids early this year, I wanted to make sure my husband and I were equipped to support our children in this postpandemic school journey.
As a parent, I felt both my kids were impacted uniquely, both positively and negatively, by this pandemic. I was very lucky to have gotten a copy of this book by Katherine Hill, titled A Mind of Their Own: Building Your Child’s Emotional Wellbeing in a Post-pandemic World. It clarified the bits and pieces of questions I had, and allowed me to come up with my own roadmap that helped me navigate in guiding my kids to thrive in this post-pandemic school world.
In the next few weeks approaching back-to-school season, let me share this roadmap which I hope would help parents better support their children, as well as strengthen fundamental foundations for the family.
First, I want to provide context to what this pandemic has brought on to my kids, to my family.
According to Katherine Hill, “Covid-19 has touched almost every area of society—not least our family life. Lockdown has left some people lonely and isolated, while other households have been forced to live in close proximity.
Family life has affectively been put under a magnifying glass where both the good and the bad things are intensified. As well as being a catalyst for acts of kindness and generosity, the lockdown has also put relationships under pressure. Small irritations have spiraled into full-blown arguments with all the family feeling the strain.
“Research carried out by The Children’s Commissioner has shown that for a few children, there may have been some positives. For those with a stable family environment, elimination of ‘everyday’ worries [anxiety about appearance, bullying, their social lives] meant some children’s stress levels decreased during the lockdown. One survey reported that the opportunity of extra time together was a bonus for many. In answer to the question ‘What has helped you during lockdown?’ the answer ‘family time’ was ahead by a country mile. But for a significant majority, the challenges have felt overwhelming. Covid-19 has exposed to gulf between disadvantaged and non-disadvantaged children, with many vulnerable families facing real hardship ....
“During the lockdown, much of life has been—of necessity—conducted around the kitchen table, often via a 23-inch screen, and the strain can feel unrelenting. Many have suffered the trauma of bereavement, and if parents have lost their source of income, financial pressure has added even more fuel to the fire. For many of those who are managing the logistics of coparenting, there have been extra difficulties. Unsurprisingly, this high-octane environment is testing our relationships, and putting our mental well-being to the test. Living together 24/7 has aggravated existing tensions, and left stressed parents juggling home-schooling/home-working, or riding the rollercoaster of the teenage years, without their usual support systems and coping mechanisms in place ....
“For children and young people, the changes brought on by the pandemic have formed the perfect storm. Younger children have missed structures and routines of the school day: the school run, play dates, sleep-overs, birthday parties and sport. Schools are reporting that children who were previously potty trained have regressed back into nappies or forgotten how to use knives and forks. And at the very time teenagers should be flexing their muscles of independence, they find themselves grounded and in an educational limbo, with life as we know it on hold. Perhaps it should come as no surprise then that one in five children have reported persistent stress during lockdown, which is in itself a predictor for mental health disorders.”
It was calming for me that the aformentioned information verbalized some of the realities, both positive and negative, that this pandemic has brought on to my kids and our family. It allowed me to dig further on each of my children and ask these questions: How was my child pre-pandemic? What were the happy, sad or fulfilling moments for him/ her? Then, I asked: How has my child been affected positively and negatively during the pandemic?
Last, and I think quite importantly, it pushed me to see this pandemic as a springboard for each of my children, as an opportunity to reflect and build better versions of themselves.
After listing these things down in my own perspective, the next step is to communicate these with each of my children. Next week, let me share the tips I learned from this book on fundamental and effective family communication, and how I applied them to my children. n