NINAY NEDY’S EPIC LOVE
[The eulogy written and delivered by Donnie Tantoco during the necrological services after the funeral Mass offered for the remains of his godmother and boss, Rustan Commercial Corporation chairman and chief executive officer Ms Zenaida R. Tantoco, whom he fondly referred to as Ninay Nedy. The concelebrated Mass was presided over by Jose Cardinal Advincula, Archbishop of Manila, on 16 February at the Santuario de San Antonio, Forbes Park, Makati City.]
Iwould like to talk about Ninay Nedy first as my godmother and secondly as the boss I that I served for seven years. Growing up, I felt that Ninay Nedy was one of the busiest persons in the world. And, thus, always wondered where did she have the time to perform such ‘epicly’ loving and generous things for me?
She once visited me when I was a college student living on my own in the USA. She asked me, “Donnie, what on earth do you eat now that you are living on your own?” I did not know how to cook, so I said I was eating ground beef every day. Her eyes grew wide as she exclaimed “ground beef three times a day! Que horror!” Before flying back to Manila, she was able to somehow have dishes like pochero, kare-kare, gata delivered to my dorm room in Connecticut every week, for an entire semester.
A couple of years later, I asked her to be the ninang of my wedding. I told her it was going to be very small and simple, as I was paying for it from my own savings. Before addressing my question to become a sponsor, she wanted to know about our wedding preparations. She asked, “Who is going to do your music?” I said a string quartet. “What kind of wine are you serving?”
Needless to say, she was horrified by my answers. She got rid of my string quartet and replaced it with the Philippine Philharmonic Orchestra; she substituted the sparkling wine I was planning to serve our guests with Dom Perignon. As if that wasn’t enough, she made PPO play festive music, while fireworks were blazing in the sky as Crickette and I walked into the garden reception (prepared by my mom) to meet our guests for the first time as a married couple.
I share these stories on behalf of the third generation of our family. I am sure others have their own similar stories of Ninay Nedy’s epic generosity.
At Rustan’s, we respectfully and endearingly refer to our boss as ZRT.
ZRT was a living legend to us even if she was not the least bit interested in becoming legendary. She was the toughest boss any of us have ever experienced. However, amidst all that willpower and ferocious determination was also a strong leader that had no ego nor any sense of self-concern. She was tough on us, but only because she wanted to inspire us to love Rustan’s even half as much as she did.
Inspiration
There is story about ZRT. It happened decades ago. It still influences and inspires us up to this day.
Thirty years ago, an angry crowd of protesters assembled in the parking lot of one of our stores. Before acting on their intent to storm into our store, they first shouted at our employees to leave the building, “Go home or else!”
Our employees did exit the store. But instead of going home, they peacefully assembled and made themselves into a wall of bodies that protected our store from the hundreds of angry protesters.
Our guards could not stop ZRT from putting herself in the most dangerous possible spot of this tense stand-off, which was in between the protesters and her employees. It was a clear message — to get to my employees you will first have to get through me.
She got a megaphone and addressed the protesters in a very calm and peaceful voice. “Hello, I want you to know that I organized an exclusive sale only for you, only for today. Please do come inside and visit our store.” The once-angry crowd came in, but instead of wreaking havoc, they went shopping! It was brilliant! And also very courageous of her.
This is what leadership looks like. We must be on the firing line of whatever threatens our company and our people. We need to plunge into it, turn negatives into positives, or convert enemies into allies while facing enormous risks to our person. She was generous with all of her resources. She was greatly respected by the medical community. And she used this network of amazing doctors not only for her family, but also for her employees. It’s impossible to know how many lives of our employees that she saved, because she does all these epic acts of compassion in secret.
Even if she does not talk about it, I am personally aware of two seriously ill employees that were healed because of her intervention. She organized the best medical team, and personally monitored their progress every week for six months until they were completely healed. Again the busiest person with the biggest heart we know somehow found space to deeply help two men that had a debilitating disease.
Now, recently, it was her turn to become seriously ill. And what happened so quickly and suddenly shocks us who work for her to the core of our being. She protected us, saved us, worked intensely and passionately with us up to the very last week of her life. More than a queen, she was a combat general that seemed healthy, ready, able and willing to lead us through the hardest battles of our lives. She literally left this world with her combat boots on.
The only thing that makes sense is that she sacrificed herself for us. She gave everything, she emptied herself totally for us, and thus had very little time, energy, health left for her our own self. And that’s why we are so sad, so grateful and so shocked.
Last Chrismas
ZRT hard wired in us the word FINEST. As we look back at her last 12 months, we realize that perhaps her soul knew that her time was limited.
Here was a woman that did hundreds of Christmas campaigns, country festivals, product launches for Rustan’s during her career. And yet her very last Christmas campaign, her very last Moroccan festival, her very last dinner for our principals was one of our most successful and her finest ever. And she worked until the point of exhaustion to make it so.
She also personally orchestrated that very epic celebration of her late mom’s 100th birthday. We did not lift a finger to help and simply showed up to the Christmas and New Year’s party that she organized for the last time for our 100-strong family.
Living purposefully for Rustan’s, and intentionally elevating the lives of her employees was at the end of the day her greatest source of joy. Late last year, she told me, “Donnie, I hope you don’t mind. I may not want to retire yet.” I told her please keep doing this for as long as you want. She said, “Okay, but somehow I don’t believe you mean that.” I did mean it. I would not want to be that person that would stop her from fulfilling her calling.
Her death at the end of the day is not untimely, after all. She was doing what she loved until her very last breath. My dad said it best the day after ZRT died, “Donnie, the Lord visited my beloved sister, and asked her to come home to claim her reward.”
Clearly, she was not meant to retire here and reap from what she had lovingly sowed for others. She was meant to retire and claim her reward of rest, peace and freedom from all burdens, in heaven.
Thank you very, very much.
Amidst all that willpower and ferocious determination was also a strong leader that had no ego nor any sense of selfconcern. She was tough on us, but only because she wanted to inspire us to love Rustan’s even half as much as she did.