Not so secret ways
WITH its house rules, the Leonardo Santos family had a very clear idea of the home environment they wanted to create such that their family vision — with a specific dream for each one — formulated in 2011 would be realized in 2016. The 2016 outcomes speak for themselves. The color code used for reporting on outcome flashed an “all green” report.
Beyond having clear core values and a lofty mission, what ways did the Santos family follow to come up with such a performance report after 5 years? The answer: The ways are not altogether secret: they are no different from the usual ways of ensuring that the spouses positively bring a positive contribution to the family each day; that spouse-to-spouse relationships are kept healthy; and that relationships with each of the kids (and among the kids) are kept always on a friendly footing. In practice, what do all these mean?
Based on the narrative of the dad, the Santos family adopted a few “projects” for the family to undertake during the 5-year period, 2011-2016. These are: project excellence (do excellently at school and at work); strengthening family traditions (dinner, playing Settlers of Catan – a favorite board game of the family, and having periodic family councils); preparation for the next level of schooling (from grade school to high school, from high school to college, and then graduate school); acquisition and practice of household skills (the kids gradually do more and more of the home chores); and finally learning of Spanish (in preparation for a trip to Mexico in 2016). It is never enough to specify projects; it is also absolutely necessary to specify a strategy map, which is translated into a set of performance scorecards.
The Santos’ family strategy map is of special interest. It has three headlines, which capture the strategic themes that the family projects must serve. Those themes have been articulated as: Build character;best effort always; and do what we ought. And this is where the not-sosecret ways of the Santos family get to be fully revealed.
At bottom, they put a lot of attention and effort to building and strengthening the family culture. This means in even more specific terms: spending a lot of rich time with each other; going to Mass on Sunday as a family and having Sunday lunch together; and holding a quarterly “family council” to reinforce the family traditions.
Then comes “learning and growth” especially on the part of the kids: a lot of study, combined with doing household chores. There is also some writing (of a personal journal and of letters to each other in the family), plus tutoring of each other (and others beyond the family). All these are not enough. They need to be complemented with “resource capability priorities” such as: “steady money” (job for the dad, and savings); “guard time” (an expression for not wasting time and using time well, concretized in no TV and no video games); “keep healthy” (this is where exercise comes in along with healthy food); then the two absolute “musts”, which are: “track and review performance”; and “seeking God’s help” (i.e., praying coupled with studying and working well).
Obviously, the Santos family is not a full enclosure unto itself. The members also have to carry out an outreach program. This consists mainly of “knowing more people,” and “developing friendship” with others including those from outside the family.
These are pretty “standard” stuff for any normal family that aims to remain healthy and happy, with everyone becoming more accomplished and a greater asset not only for the family but also for society. But in the case of the Santos family, such standard stuff has been deployed and put to good, regular use and observance, and it must be added “with much fun and great sense of humor”.
Except for the learning of Spanish project (but with the Mexico trip still done), all the family projects were executed, with great success in the end. A good example to emulate!