Angry at God, eventually reconciled
IT was a dream come true. That was when Robert finally won the heart of Margie and sealed it with ecstatic “I do’s” before the altar. (This is a true story but the names are changed). Life for them was blissful and smooth until one day a lump appeared on Margie’s armpit. It was diagnosed as second-stage cancer and needed immediate surgery to arrest its growth.
* * * She had to undergo mastectomy followed by chemotherapy. Robert was thankful to God when the doctor pronounced that the cancerous tissue had been removed.
For the next two years, everything was back to normal. So it seemed… because one day while Margie was decorating the children’s room, she fell down from a chair she was standing on.
** * When rushed to the hospital for treatment, it was found that her cancer didn’t really got healed but spread silently with the cells attacking her lungs, liver, brain, bones, and blood, and had reached Stage 4.
* * * Realizing her hopeless situation, Robert cried like a child, begging and bargaining with the Lord to spare Margie. On December 2, 2002, Margie died at age 32.
Robert was devastated. He went into depression and locked himself inside his room. He stopped praying and going to church altogether.
* * * Alone in his room, he thought of committing suicide by drinking the leftover bottles of morphine Margie had used to relieve her pain.
Mysteriously, everytime he tried to do it, something distracted him, like his son would knock at the door to ask for something, or suddenly the telephone would ring.
*** One day, his brother visited him and noticed his miserable condition. He invited him to join a Family Renewal Encounter. He was reluctant but eventually gave in. In the parent-children dialogue, one of the four siblings told him straight-faced, “Mama died because you didn’t take care of her and you’re doing the same to us now.”
*** That hit him like a thunderbolt. He was angry because it was not true but the second part had some truth. Indeed, he had neglected them due to his extended depression.
*** The Family Encounter seminar was followed after some months with a Life in the Spirit Seminar (LSS). In that part where he was “slain by the Holy Spirit,” Margie appeared in a vision, telling him, “Don’t worry anymore. I’m at peace and in a better place.” He said, “We hugged each other tightly and then she vanished. I felt only joy and peace because I was able to set her free after keeping her imprisoned in my selfish desire to possess her totally.”
*** Although God’s ways were not Robert’s ways, He had plans for him, one of which was to take care of their four children.
Aside from his job, he serves the Lord by preparing the Mass liturgical paraphernalia before each eucharistic celebration in his Salt and Light Solo Parent Community. Doing this has become like a panata (vow) “Basta’t kay Lord,” he said, “there’s always time.” *** Young or old, rich or poor, we all have trials and problems in this “val- ley of tears” called earth. But if we face them as challenges to overcome with a persevering faith in the Lord then, like Robert, we will experience joy and peace. Remember: “When God closes a door on you, He opens a window.”
*** GOD BLESS — the latest donors to our Adopt a Seminarian scholarship program: DANNY-LITA PAYWAWAL, BEA TOLEDANES, JO VALENCIA, JAIME-MARIA ALANIS, LIB MALONZO. *** Others who are interested to help needy seminarians may e-mail me at: belsvd@gmail.com.