Ghost month

IT’S been only hours after the sun’s glory was stolen by the shadow of the moon across a large swath of the United States, only a week after hot words between Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un all but put humanity on the brink of a nuclear holocaust. What new dangers does the world face in the next 24 hours, the next 24 days?

Are the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse on their way?

Aug. 22 to Sept. 19, 2017, is ghost month. Don’t worry, you have nothing to fear, not from real ghosts anyway, unless you are superstitious, you believe in flaky stuff like solar and lunar eclipses as the harbingers of disasters, or if you’re the nervous type who are easily contaminated by the opinions and fears of others.

Ghost month? Perhaps you want to be on the safe side – what harm is there in taking precautions? Like North Korea’s Beloved Leader Kim, who toned down his war chant as soon as Trump and other officials let the word out that the US was “not after regime change,” you know reason should prevail over superstition and yet you can’t help but connect a plethora of negative events – earthquakes, pestilence (bird flu), fires, killings -- to something wicked that this way comes, a poisoned atmosphere, bad vibes, a sense of foreboding . . . Just in case you feel you need to be prepared to counter the unsavory effects, heed the gentle advice of Princesse Fernandez of Yin and Yang feng shui fame:

“Pay attention to safety and beware of misunderstandings, especially on Aug. 22, Sept. 4 and 5. Keep your homes well-lit, offer prayers for the souls in purgatory, carry a safety medallion and a health medallion. The following should be extra-vigilant: Fire Horses, Wood Rabbits, Wood Rats, Water Roosters, Water Horses, and Metal Rabbits.”

Believers avoid signing contracts and starting big projects during this period. The unspoken law is no grand weddings, no groundbreaking, no new capital flowing out. Believe it or not, Chinoys are not the only ones abstaining from these activities, just watch the stock market.