A unique funeral homily
FUNERAL homilies are often confined to generalities and platitudes because the priest does not know the deceased. What if you yourself composed the homily to be delivered by the priest during your own funeral? In a way, that was what Alice de Dios had unwittingly done.
Alice, a member of a prayer group who call themselves “Talaktakan,” passed away at the ripe age of 89. Rummaging through Alice’s belongings, her daughter found a notebook filled with insights and lessons about life and death. Alice must have compiled these through the years. One of its pages contains what looks like her farewell message to her loved ones. I read it as the homily for her funeral Mass. It goes:
“When my heart stops beating, I’m sure that’s not the end of me. I believe that in death, life is changed, not ended (1 Corinthians 15:51-52).
“My life is full of blessings but we all come to that stage when God seems to stop giving us things and starts taking away what He has given. That surely hurts, but somehow I feel that God is more interested in developing my character, than in spoiling me to a life of comfort and privilege. He is more intent on making me holy, rather than just happy.
“No matter how good things look in my life, I believe something bad needs to be worked on; and no matter how bad things look in my life, there will be always something good that I need to thank God for.
“Gratitude is perhaps the virtue people my age must practice. Sometimes, our aches and pains can blind us to the fact that we have received more gifts from God than we deserve. I remember the story of the blind woman who regained her sight courtesy of an eye donor. When she saw for the first time her long-time boyfriend and realized he was blind, she despised and rejected him. As her boyfriend turned to leave, he said: ‘Take good care of your eyes my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.’
“Isn’t that sad? There was sacrifice but no gratitude. Only a few remember what life was like before they met the person who helped them rise from their miserable situation. They easily forget who was at their side during their most painful and trying moments.
“I myself have experienced such letdowns in my life. Some of those whom I have loved deeply and for whom I have sacrificed greatly turned against me and even tried to destroy me. I am sometimes tempted to withhold forgiveness unless the other person asks for it. But then I ask myself, what if that person would not ask for forgiveness? I would be forfeiting the opportunity to forgive.
“So every night, before I sleep, I ask God to help me be generous in forgiving others. I have learned that forgiveness cannot change the past, but it can enlarge my capacity to love and understand others. Forgiving others also gives me the courage to ask God for forgiveness.
“So, when it is time for me to go, I hope people who will attend my funeral will utter this prayer:
“Lord, forgive Alice. She might have committed many disgraceful, incorrigible, and irresponsible deeds. But we truly believe that because of your love that is ineffable, nothing in her life is unforgivable. Let your eternal light shine upon her Lord, and welcome her to paradise with your loving embrace.” Amen.