Yes, toddlers can!
Rather than taking charge all the time, moms and dads should let their children learn to do things by themselves.
Rather than taking charge all the time, moms and dads should let their children learn to do things by themselves.
Are you a parent who does everything for her toddler because:
a) You don’t want him to get hurt
b) You don’t want him to struggle or have a hard time
c) You don’t want him to make a mess
d) You want things done more quickly and more neatly or e) All of the above?
Whatever the reason, know that you are not helping in your child’s development when you always take over and do things for him. What happens is you deprive him of opportunities to learn practical skills and be independent, said family life and child development specialist Tina Zamora, the directress of Nest School for Whole Child Development in Quezon City.
During her talk “Prepping your child’s area to develop self-help skills” at the 6th Baby, Kids & Family Expo Philippines held at the Megatrade Hall of SM Megamall in Mandaluyong City, Teacher Tina clarified that toddlers in this case are children under the age of five. They are not babies anymore, who are totally dependent on their parents and at their age, she pointed out, toddlers can already do or should be doing a few activities on their own. Brushing their teeth, wearing clothes and shoes, picking up toys, and bringing their own bags inside the classroom are all examples of self-help skills.
These skills, she explained, are part of the socio-emotionaldomain—one of five domains—that must be developed in children. The others are physical, cognitive, language, and creative. To be successful in developing your toddler’s self-help skills and teaching him to be independent, Teacher Tina advised parents to do the following:
Understand the different environments of your toddler and prepare them according to his needs.
Parents have to know well and to have a good arrangement with the places that their toddler frequents (home, school, playground), the people he stays and interacts with (family members, teachers, classmates, playmates, caregiver), and the schedule that the child follows (when to eat, sleep, play, go to school, have quiet time, go outdoors, etc.). At home for instance, places and their purposes (bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, and dining room) have to be clear and specific—even if you live in a small house and have limited space—so that
the child doesn’t get confused. Where he sleeps should definitely not be the same area where he eats. Very young children should have a routine and a predicable schedule so that they know what to expect and would feel secure.
Observe your child often to find out what he is ready for and what is truly appropriate for his age in order to help him develop his different domains.
Watch, talk, and interact frequently with your youngster to know what he is capable of and to be familiar with his movements and reactions. If you notice, for example, that your son can already put on and remove his shirt, then he should always be the one to wear and take off his top. If you see that he can brush his teeth on his own, then let him do it solo after every meal even if he creates a mess in the bathroom while doing it.
Be consistent. Talk to the people surrounding your child so you are on the same page when it comes to goals.
Don’t flip-flop on rules and decisions. If mom says “No,” for instance, then dad has to say “No,” too. All the caregivers, from the parents to the grandparents to the siblings to the yaya, have to have the same advocacy in disciplining and what they want the child to accomplish. If the parent wants the child to pick up his toys and return them to the box after playtime, then lola and lolo who are left in the house to watch their apo should make sure that he does that instead of tidying up the playroom themselves and insisting that they don’t want their grandchild to get tired. If the parents have a “no TV” rule for the child, then the maid or yaya should stick to this and not turn on the TV to watch her favorite telenovelas while with her ward.
•Give your child opportunities to do things by himself.
Keep in mind that he needs to develop his self-help skills at this age, so let him try, make mistakes, practice, and improve often so that when he grows up, he will be a productive and self-sufficient adult. Even if your toddler dons his shirt inside out, doesn’t clean or arrange his playthings as carefully as you want him to, and spills food and soils his clothes almost every meal time, what’s important is he is given these opportunities to learn, grow, and figure things out on his own.
In closing, Teacher Tina reminded parents to be more discerning when seeking opinions and advice, especially online. “If you follow someone, like on Facebook and Instagram, or ask for parenting advice, make sure these people are qualified and experienced like teachers, family life and child development specialists, and/or child psychologists.”