Bullying basics
— Edgar Lee Masters (1868-1950), American poet, Harry Wilmans 194 v.21-22, (1916)
WE talk often now of how China (3,704,426 sq mi) is bullying the Philippines (115,831 sq mi) over pieces of rock and corals in the West Philippine Sea. A cursory look at any map shows us just how huge China is compared to the Philippines. It is after all the 4th largest country, after Russia, Canada, and the US. Of course, it’s not just about size: China is stronger in military and economic terms so there are many ways of losing to a giant. Now we know exactly what bullying means because it has happened to you and me at one time or another.
Bullying Defined. What follows is an iteration of portions in http://www.stopbullying.gov, a US Department of Health and Human Services website. “Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance.” Kids that bully have physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity, and use these to control or harm others. The behavior is repeated and, over time, may have serious and lasting problems for those who are bullied and those who bully.
Types of Bullying. There are three types. In verbal bullying, there can be teasing, name-calling, inappropriate sexual comments, taunting, and threatening to cause harm. Social or relational bullying is hurting someone’s reputation or relationships. Leaving someone out (of the loop) on purpose, telling other children not to be friends with someone, spreading rumors about someone, and embarrassing someone in public are all examples of social bullying. Physical bullying is hurting a person’s body or possessions. Obviously this can take the form of hitting, kicking, spitting, pinching, tripping, pushing, or even making rude hand gestures. Taking or breaking someone’s things is physical bullying too.
What to Do. Children must know that bullying is wrong and unacceptable. The website encourages adults to: • Intervene immediately. • Separate the kids involved. • Make sure everyone is safe. • Meet any immediate medical or mental health needs.
• Model respectful behavior when you intervene (not bully the bully!).
• Be persistent: make a commitment because bullying does not stop overnight. Avoid these Mistakes. • Never tell the child to ignore the bullying.
• Do not blame the child for being bullied.
• Do not tell the child to physically fight back because he/she could get hurt, suspended, or expelled
• Parents should resist the urge to contact the other parents because it could make the matters worse; school officials can mediate.
Cyberbullying. The website also features “cyberbullying” and defines it as “bullying that takes place using electronic technology. Examples of cyberbullying include mean text messages or e-mails, rumors sent by email or posted on social networking sites, and embarrassing pictures, videos, websites, or fake profiles.” Do these immediately: Don’t respond to and don’t forward cyberbullying messages. Block the cyberbully immediately and inform the website/authorities.