Maria’s triumph over a lethal temptation
TODAY’S gospel reading tells us that Jesus was tempted in the desert. We usually understand temptation as the lure of the flesh, inveterate pride, material wealth, absolute power, and ego-inflating fame.
There is, however, a more lethal temptation that afflicts many of us today – the temptation to choose death over life. People of all ages sometimes see death as a convenient escape from unwanted pain, fear, problems, and dreaded disease. The gradual giving in to this temptation is described by Emily Dickinson thus: The heart asks pleasure first; and then excuse from pain; And then, those little anodynes that deaden suffering; And then to go to sleep; and then if it should be The will of its inquisitor, the liberty to die.
I am sure you have encountered people who have died long before they were buried. People like them simply go through the motions of being alive — breathing, eating, drinking, sleeping, working — but they do all these without enthusiasm, meaning, and purpose. They hide in a safe but barren tomb, starving their emotions and denying their ability to enjoy life. Life is what they do while waiting to die.
In contrast, some people, despite the tragedies they suffer, decide to live their life to the full. Maria Gonzalez Goolsby can serve as a good model for us. Maria is a widow, and her constant companion is solitude because she was not blessed with a child. But she refuses to let this fact define her.
Born to a family of prominent professionals, Maria chose to be a teacher after her studies in the University of Santo Tomas and Harvard University. After several years as an educator, she became a respected woman corporate executive, a passionate advocate of youth formation and empowerment, an anonymous parish worker, and a generous philanthropist. A devout Catholic, Maria personifies a woman unspoiled by wealth and success.
Recently, at age 78, something terrible befell her, something that ordinary mortals would curse and scream at. She was diagnosed with breast cancer. But rather than getting depressed, she bravely underwent all the needed procedures and surgery. A stubborn optimist, she turned this dreaded disease into a spiritual journey that is life-affirming, a journey towards a happier, more purposeful life even while she is still recuperating.
She confides: “I met many women who, when told they have cancer, are tempted to drift into despair, loneliness, and death. Fear overwhelms them. I would like to tell them: ‘It is all right to be afraid. God does not ask us not to feel afraid, but to trust Him no matter how we feel.’”
If spirituality is what connects us with the absolute and ultimate meaning of life, then Maria has certainly discovered hers. With her passion for life nourished by her acceptance of whatever comes her way, her humility to seek people who can help her, and her firm determination to achieve God’s purpose for her in this world, she reminds me of Mary Oliver’s poem “Wild Geese”: “You do not have to be good or to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. . . Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting, over and over announcing your place in the family of things.”