Failure to dialogue causes marital break-up

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THERE’S a joke that when a couple is newly married, the word ASAWA (spouse) is still complete. But as the years pass, the letters gradually disappear. After a couple of years, the A vanishes and what have you? “Sawa,” (fed up).

* * * Then after a couple more years, the S disappears and what’s left is “Awa” (pity). After some more years, the A fades away, too, and what remains? “Wa”! (no more) — no more love or worse, no more spouse!

* * * Then there’s a married couple who during their honeymoon period sweetly held hands for love. A few years after, they held hands for self-defense!

* * * Last April 20-22, I was part of an ecclesial team which facilitated a Marriage Encounter Weekend Seminar (MEWS) in Tagaytay aimed at enriching the marriages of couples, some of whom have reached the “wa na” stage.

Class #584 of Pag-ibig sa Diyos Catholic Community composed of 27 couples undertook the weekend seminar, assisted by the sponsoring class #580.

* * * Although exhausting for me, the Marriage Encounter was a fulfilling experience because it helped me bring hope, relief, and remedy to couples going through turbulent relationships or even on the verge of break-up.

* * * The seminar talks based on the personal testimonies of the couple presenters — Dante-Carol Castillo, Marius-Ellen Cubarrubias, LinoEstela Garcia — before and after their own weekend renewal showed how they communicated with one another in a loving and non-judgmental way. Very often the failure to talk out marital problems and grievances have caused cold wars as well as broken relationships.

* * * The role of God in the couple’s marriage was likewise highlighted.

Not a few thought that marriage in church meant receiving the priest’s blessing for their sexual act. That’s part of it but it’s more than that. What’s stressed in the seminar is the love between the two — which goes through joys and sorrow, successes and failures — should mirror the sacrificial love of Christ to His people, the Church.

* * * The weekend encounter was also an opportunity to reach out to inactive Catholics, some of whom had not gone to confession since their First Holy Communion in grade school or when they got married.

“Father,” one said, “I don’t remember my last Confusion”; another blurted out: “This is my first Compassion.”

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Undoubtedly, such marriage renewals are a tremendous boost to the country’s moral uplift and the government’s moral regeneration.

If more and more couples are reformed, then society will likewise follow since society is composed of individuals and families.

Let’s have more moral and spiritual renewal seminars.

* * * Couples should do everything to save a seemingly hopeless marriage or a floundering relationship. They should not let their marriages happen and say “wha’ happened?” but rather MAKE them happen.

Someone rightly said: “Every man who is happily married is a successful man, even if he has failed in everything else.”

* * * SUPPORT SEMINARIANS. Somebody once said, “What draws us closer and makes us care for one another is not what we have, but what we give.

“Keep on sharing and feel the reward of peace, joy, and love.”

* * * It’s enrolment time again. Share and support our seminarians. They are our future priests. We cannot have priests if we don’t support seminarians now.

For inquiries, e-mail me at: belsvd@gmail.com.

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ST. JUDE. Today, Thursday, join us in our novena to St. Jude Thaddeus at the Divine Word Shrine, Christ the King Seminary, on E. Rodriguez Boulevard, Quezon City, after the 6 p.m. Mass.

A healing pray-over and anointing of holy oil follow.