...before it gets better

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MY cousin and I went to Calamba to celebrate the 157th birth anniversary of our mutual ancestor, Jose Rizal. The invitation said 8 a.m. and because these commemorations do start on time (despite popular belief that government is never punctual), we left Manila at the crack of dawn. The Mercado house is now called the Museo Rizal; it was wrapped with yards of “tri-colore” (red, white, and blue) that mercifully concealed the ill-advised chartreuse of distant ricefields.

Ms. Zarah Alunday, curator par excellence, led us to the garden where tents were set up around a stage behind the house; it was artistically decorated with arrangements of red and white anthuriums. There was a tent for the Knights of Rizal and the Masonic lodges of Laguna, all of them dressed in full regalia, the Knights with sabers and satin bands, the Masons with purple aprons embellished with gold fringes, tassels, and the all-seeing eye. The Ladies of Rizal with identical embroidered pañuelos included us in their group pictures.

Beside the stage, there was a huge screen with the image of Mr. Christopher Lawrence “Bong” T. Go, the special assistant of no less than President Rodrigo Duterte. He was the guest of honor and speaker and the “welcomers” were the governor of Laguna, the vice governor, the congressman of the second district of Laguna, the mayor and vice-mayors of Calamba.

At a bit past 9, there was the usual commotion at the entrance and a voice urged “the media” to please go back to the designated press box. More chairs were added to the front row to accommodate Sec. Go’s entourage.

Before he arrived, we had gone through the speeches of the local government officials I mentioned above, very respectful in their homage to Jose Rizal, they called him the Pride of Laguna, the Filipino Martyr who lived and died for the country. They each pronounced Rizal’s most popular quotes about love for our native tongue, looking back into the future, the youth being the hope of the Motherland.

There was a charming play of Rizal’s life — from the youth who purposely tossed his slippers into the lake,to the filibustero in Europe and the apogee at Bagumbayan.The cameo appearances of Basilio, the Gomburza trio with black hoods, the crazed Sisa, the wise Tasio were plaintive crests of our history, as told by Rizal himself. Congratulations and hats off to the producers actors, costume-makers, and directors!

A lady councilor of Calamba, scintillating in a sky-blue terno, was assigned to introduce Sec. Go. She described him as “the national photobomber” because he is always standing behind the president; he also loves taking selfies. Oh, yes, he did study at De La Salle and is the special assistant of the President.

After perfunctory greetings, acknowledging weighty officials, expressing gratitude for being invited to such an auspicious commemoration, Sec. Bong Go said he arrived an hour late because just when he was about to leave, his good friend Ipe called him and asked him to wait for him. He told Ipe to stand up and wave to the audience. It turned out to be the ex-matinee idol, Philip Salvador, hiding behind shades and a few kilos heavier.

Mr. Go said that his friend Ipe would often go to Davao because he wanted to make a movie about Pres. Duterte’s life, but the latter refused. So, Mr. Go told him not to insist because two other actors who had the same idea, Fermando Poe Jr. and Rudy Fernandez, are now dead. Does he want to follow suit? Mr. Go said that Ipe broke many hearts in Davao and warned the belles of Calamba that women find him irresistible. That is why Kris Aquino and Mocha Uson are at odds, declared Mr. Go, they are really fighting over him. Ipe is like Jose Rizal, beamed Mr. Go. Rizal had many girl friends, didn’t he? He tried to name names but stumbled on those tongue-twisting foreign surnames. But, Rizal is no match because Ipe has 33 children, he is very “matulis” snickered Mr. Go.

Then, Mr. Go compared Pres. Duterte to Jose Rizal because the president also has many girlfriends, but he does not dare reveal their names. Changing the subject, he invited a group of ladies to go and visit Malacañang, which is open to the public because it belongs to the Filipino people and not to its current occupants.

The first time Sec. Go went to Malacañang, he asked the waiters working there if the palace is haunted and some of them revealed that they had seen shadows, or felt eerie presences, specters in white disappearing swiftly into certain rooms.

Why are they always wearing white? Sec. Go asked a somewhat rhetorical question. “Is white the uniform of ghosts? Why don’t they wear yellow?” Then he said that President Duterte had asked him about the ghosts in Malacañang and when he confirmed this, the president bellowed “P **** ina ninyo, umalis kayo diyan!”

There are persistent rumors that Sec. Bong T. Go is running for the Senate. My cousin said it would get worse before it becomes better. (ggc1898@gmail.com)