A father’s heart

“HOW does one become a great father?”

It is both funny and heartwarming to hear this question tossed by a friend with whom one had shared many puberty moments. We were once carefree, reckless, and foolish. We hardly understood the meaning of “responsibility.” Friendship – and all the fun that came with it – were all we had in mind.

Now, dreams, passions, and focus have changed.

It feels good to know that “fatherhood” of the great variety is now among them.

I told my childhood friend that I have no idea on how one may become a “great” father. Becoming a “good” father seems to be a realizable and more reasonable aspiration, I told him.

When it comes to being a “good” father, there are many models to cite. My own father, grandfathers, uncles, and godfathers, their peers and friends offer great examples.

Of the many admirable aspects of their character, three qualities stand out. First, they are generous providers. Second, they are tireless teachers. Third, they are unconditional lovers. The good fathers I have known have been extraordinary builders of enterprises, devoted employees, and committed public servants. They nurture and honor their labor and the work of their hands. After all, these are what bring food to the family table. These are what ensure that there is a roof over the heads of their children. These are what enable them to give their children the best education possible.

Among these outstanding providers are our Overseas Filipino Workers.

The good fathers I have known have also been tireless teachers.

They deliberately impart and model valuable skills to their children – skills in sports, in the arts, in human interaction.

My father is particularly and extraordinarily skilled in the art of listening to others, in understanding other people’s aspirations, and in generating consensus even from among those with very diverse views and opinions.

This is a rare set of skills that one cannot learn from textbooks and workshops. They can only be learned from a father who models and mentors.

The good fathers I have known are also unconditional lovers.

While they may be strict disciplinarians who impose high standards of excellence and behavior on their children, they also have bottomless reservoirs of understanding, forgiveness, and patience. While they may seem intolerant of weakness and failure, they actually have hearts that are soft and which understand and accept that their children are human beings – with vast potentials as well as real limitations. Providers. Teachers. Lovers. At the end of the day, the good fathers I have known are nothing more than mirror images of the one Great Father – God himself. Last Sunday was Father’s Day. On that day, my family and I offered our prayers for all the Dads out there.

We prayed that you may continue to persevere in your roles as providers, teachers, and lovers.

May your hearts continue to be molded and shaped like that of our one Great Father.

A belated Happy Father’s Day to you.