Ruffa at 44 still a dutiful, devoted mom
Ruffa Gutierrez continues to raise her teenage daughters in a conservative or what she calls “old-fashioned” way.
Ruffa Gutierrez continues to raise her teenage daughters in a conservative or what she calls “old-fashioned” way. In an exclusive interview with Bulletin Entertainment at her recent birthday party held at Manila Hotel, the 44-year-old actress shared Lorin may be 14 years old and Venice, 13, but they don’t have their own smart phones. Apparently, she wants the two away from social media till they become a bit older.
“When I was their age, we didn’t have things like that (gadgets) and I’m fine,” she pointed out. “Hello, I played with my dogs, I used to do gardening, I read books, I played Atari. I mean, I turned out fine even without smart phones and social media.”
It doesn’t make her a “kill joy,” though. Ruffa thinks she is a cool mom in that she’s a friend to her kids, too.
“I think it’s also important that, you know, we (parents) should listen to them. To know what they want and what their needs are.”
For now these include singing and piano lessons for Venice while Lorin – who’ll graduate from high school two years hence – wants to go school hunting in the US.
Ruffa doesn’t want to impose her own career ideas on the two.
“’Cause that’s not what they want,” she explained. “As a mom, you have to go with the times as well. You have to also listen to your kids and not just stress what you want. It’s also what they need and what they’re going through. So you have to listen to them.”
The former beauty queen doesn’t put any pressure on her daughters’ shoulders.
“I always tell them, ‘You know it’s okay to fail as long as you tried your best.’ Because a lot of kids now are pressured with social media and I say to them ‘You have a great life so don’t stress yourself if people bully you. That’s just how life works.’”
Ruffa often tells the two about her life when she was a teenager.
“I tell them, ‘Look, at 13 I started my career, at 17 I was sent to New York for an international competition, by 18 I had my own condo, by 19 I was driving a Benz – but I didn’t get to finish college,” she said.
“I finished high school, I’m sorry if I couldn’t make it to college but, you know what, I have an amazing career. I was able to achieve everything that my other classmates back then couldn’t get. That time they were still asking allowance from their parents. So, it really depends on the choices you make as long as they are what you really want.”
Ruffa is thankful her daughters turned out to be good kids.
“It’s challenging to be a single-working mom. But I’m happy I have my family to support me and that my kids are wellbehaved.”
Motherly advice
With all the depression and suicide news around, Ruffa has made it a point to talk to her kids about handling low moments in life. “You have to reach out to your kids and make sure that ‘Listen, you have somebody to talk to.’” She speaks from experience. “I always tell them I’m such a strong person ’cause I’ve been through so much but it (suicide) never crossed my mind.” Ruffa compared then and now as far as handling the blues goes. “Parang back in the day, iyak ka lang, Okay ‘depressed’ ka for one week pero ’pag sinabing depression OA lang ’yun, ka-dramahan lang na depression. But now, it’s actually a mental illness and it’s really something you take seriously.” Of course, depressed or not, children would always need their mother’s guidance.
“Because mental illness comes at any age. It may happen when you’re young or sometimes it happens when you’re undergoing menopause,” she related. “You never can tell. So I think it’s better to be open about everything, to have a strong support in terms of family.”
She added that having faith in God is key.
“Sometimes that’s what most of the younger generation forgets,” she said. “So I told my kids ‘When all else fails and you feel depressed, turn to God. He’s the only one who could help you.’’”
Birthday bash
What’s her birthday wish, we asked. “Actually good health, happiness, and for my children to be the best ladies that they can be – to serve the youth, to be a role models to kids their age, and to finish their studies. I think it’s about the kids now, as you get older it’s not anymore about yourself, it’s more about the kids,” she said.
Ruffa is a semi-regular host of noontime variety show “Eat Bulaga!” She will soon start a project involving a video-on-demand service.
“I think the trend now is change. Television of course is still there, movies are still there, but it’s all about digital and social media now,” she said.
Ruffa shared she, herself, experienced changes in her life recently.
“Since we moved into our new house, we don’t watch TV as much as we used to. Before, nakabukas lang ’yung TV habang kumakain kami pero now, parang gusto ko na nga lang i-cancel ’yung cable ko. Walang nanunuod, nakakaloka,” she trilled in jest.