Happy Birthday, Mom!
AUGUST 25th, 2018. On your sixty-second birthday. Dearest Mother,
Happy sixty-two! I’m pretty sure you don’t feel much different today than you did yesterday, except maybe for that small wrinkle that is making an appearance on your forehead this morning, that you’ve been staring at, and is so obviously bothering you (just joking)! But all kidding aside, and though you’ve chosen to celebrate quite differently this year, I hope you get the relaxing day you always live for, and that you enjoy tonight’s very intimate celebration with your chosen few – your privileged nearest and dearest who get a front row seat to a life many live to emulate.
If I turn out to be even just half the person that you are, then I could consider myself to be somewhat of a success. Despite the fact that many times when I was much younger, I would somewhat abhor your unreasonable routines and rules – homework and tutor right after school, seven o’clock bed time, and no television on school nights, no soda, junk food, or answering back, the list extends beyond the confines of this page – I found myself brain-washed and mentally conditioned to be obedient. Oh how I wish to possess those powers one day! Today, I realize it was all for the best – that my begrudging adherence to your utilitarian ways have paid off. It was your way of instilling discipline, and a moral compass so resilient and strong, that even at times when I find it tempting to go wayward, I’m pulled back into doing what I raised to know to be right. On days where my bed seems more inviting than usual, it is your voice at the back of my mind telling me to get up and go because I am accountable for my actions. It is you who taught me the value of honoring loyalty and commitment – and to never bite off more than I can chew. That in order to command respect, I need to act respectable, and be respectful. That at the end of every day, what matters most is being able to go to sleep at night knowing that I have somehow made a small step towards accomplishing my next goal, while being an empowering force and a light in the life of someone else.
Your silent, under-celebrated, yet magnanimous gestures always leave me in awe, because if I know a selfless soul and generous heart, it would be yours. Through your example, I learn every day the importance of honoring promises; that it is simply not enough to give, and share resources, and that what matters is how much of yourself you share with others. In keeping your circles intimate, even through the causes you choose to help and perpetuate, you consistently show me that the true impact is not always in the numbers, but in the relationships you have forged, cherished, and made through time. That indeed, a legacy is created not solely by and in the millions, but by the lives you’ve managed to touch, and the smiles that you’ve unknowingly given.
Thank you for being one of my greatest reasons to smile – for being my greatest cheerleader and staunchest critic in one. For bringing me up to be strong enough to face my own fears and fight my own fights, yet still, and always coming to my defense (whether I ask you to or not) when you know I’m in the right. For being consistently persistent, but never nagging. For giving and showing me the world as you see and know it best, and for that re-assurance that I will always have a best friend, a mother and someone to banter with, and bug in you. To quote a favorite song, “I’m everything I am, because you love me.”