Michelle Cojuangco Barrera on TA and Lolita: They are the reason I believe in ‘ever after’
Michelle Cojuangco Barrera on TA and Lolita:
My earliest memories of my grandmothers are filled with tender care, laughter, and love. As my understanding of the world and experiences expanded, I have learned from and witnessed their faith, strength, and commitment to family. Perhaps these words are ones that describe them at their core. They are my life’s silent warriors, my pillars of strength, and the reason I believe in “ever after.”
1. Throughout my childhood, my grandmothers have taught me the meaning of family and commitment. They have exuded grace and class in all they have done, from the way they dress and carry themselves to the ways in which they deal with conflicts. Most importantly, they showed us through their actions — not words — how to love and be kind, how to live an honest life, and how to live in faith,centering everything we do around happiness through God. They have been with me through my life’s extreme highs and lows: From successes to failures, heartbreaks and new beginnings, and all the good, bad, and ugly in between.They never judged me for anything, but supported, encouraged, and guided to do better.
By default, I am perhaps closest to my maternal grandmother, Gretchen Oppen Cojuangco “TA,” because I grew up with her always around. I love her effortless and timeless grace and elegance that shines through in everything she does. She is stern and strong, but has a heart and tenderness that makes her my best friend and closest confidant. Early on in life, she made sure my cousins and I were exposed to art and culture;she took us to numerous ballets and recitals, concerts, museums, and her own functions.They were our special, no-parents-allowed, “dates” together, and I have grown to appreciate the arts because of her. Later on, we learned that she was so much more than the regal icon everyone sees.Although she is the epitome of a lady in everything she does,she isn’t afraid to let her hair down for some quality time with us. Yes, from gardening to riding to camping. (Believe it or not, my TA camped out in tents with us overnight alone! All 8 of us at the time, with an emergency escape plan to boot!). There were picnics cooking with firewood by a cold river. You name it, she’s done it all with us.
My paternal grandmother, Filomena Ocampo Barrera “Lolita,” lives abroad, so my time with her growing up was more limited. But it is in no way lacking. She is my living saint.Her tenderness has always shone through in the ways she speaks, her thoughtfulness and attention to detail in everything. She makes sure a piece of her is ingrained in everything she does. She is one lady who shares herself and her time so unconditionally; you feel her heart in all she does. She has taught me the power of positivity, showing appreciation, and the value of biting one’s tongue (and through that, patience).She has been instrumental in my appreciation for little tidbit souvenirs when I travel. It is through her that I have grown to understand that taking a step back in a challenging situation may shed some light on something much deeper and much more profound.She has showed me unconditional love and understanding in times when I’ve felt I was alone. She believes that everyone deserves a chance and that no one deserves to be pre-judged.
Both of these beautiful, gung-ho, real-life angels are responsible for my appreciation for differences in opinion, cultures, and upbringing. They have given me, along with my parents, a sense of understanding that has helped me through life when times have been tough. They have fought for me relentlessly throughout my life through prayer, persistence, and a little cariño brutal when needed. They have come through for me in every trial, or uncertainty I’ve come across. They are both also responsible, in one way or another, for my family’s constant battle with their waistlines; they are excellent in the kitchen, and have generations of family “heirloom” recipes up their sleeves for any (and every) occasion. My most treasured moments with both have been in the kitchen learning a dish I’ve told them I’ve loved. They have always gone out of their way to make time for moments like these, and its been in those quiet raw moments where we have had the deepest conversations on life and love.It’s been in the priceless spontaneous moments that I’ve learnt the most from them and about them.
How blessed my life has been to have my grandparents by my side; and how wonderful it is to still be able to share so much with them in their golden years. To all grandparents and grandchildren out there, may you be as blessed as I have been.May you cherish every moment you have together in this life. Happy Grandparents’ Day!