How to be a coach without being one

Coaching became the "in" thing in capacity building some years ago. Apparently, coaches go through a formal program and get certified. But I did not have the time, and the fund, to attend a program. I only have the intent, the will, and the passion.

I am therefore unsure if my work with local government officials can be termed as coaching. I am there when they need someone to talk to. I call them up or send them messages to find out how they are doing. And I try my best to provide them with assistance whenever they need one.

Mayor Rex Gatchalian of Valenzuela City is one of the local leaders whom I support. He drives me crazy many times with his one hundred and one ideas. But I find his personality quite fascinating. He requests for meetings in small cafes, which I chide him to no end for being chintzy. He says he has levelled up though because we have graduated from sardine sandwiches to pasta. He starts off with a brief banter, and then proceeds like a machine gun pummelling us with his ideas. Is it possible to change his incentive package to parents by including children and teachers' assessment? I find myself saying, “I will help you Mayor." I laugh at myself for being "gently pushed" on the wall. How does he make people say yes even without asking.

Then he moves on to his next agenda. He wants to adopt the Bottom-budgeting in allocating the Special Education Fund. He wants to listen to School Governing Councils debate on their pet programs. I give him my full attention as he gestures with his hands with his eyes lighting up. And then I make a gentle suggestion, "Perhaps the whole assembly can decide their own priorities." He backs up a little as he listens to the whys. He accedes, but with a reservation. "As long as the Mayor, the Vice Mayor and Councilor Rovin are supra delegates and have individual votes." There, we had an agreement.

We move forward to the results of children's assessment of their parents. The discussion turns philosophical with the Mayor asking how parents can learn how to say "I love you" to their children if they never heard it said by their parents. Those in the table chimed in. “You learn from others, from media, from reading." I reminded him that children will find it hard to recover from sins of omission. Happily, he moves on to how we will do the "Nanay Teacher" workshop in October. He takes it as given that we will draft the learning modules. When the modules are emailed to him, his usual response is “I will take it from here." He gets a group including himself, to review the draft, package it into pamphlets, proceed with its publication, and organize the workshops.

Then he turns to Councilor Rovin to check on the stories that were written for parents. This Mayor regularly checks on how work plans are accomplished. Then, the manuscript is turned over to us. I surmise that I have gone beyond coaching. I have become part of his team even without trying.

The last item on the menu is his organization of a group of math majors into an M and E team. I have complained to him how we have been pre-occupied in processing Valenzuela data. I do not know if complaining is part of coaching. But he has risen to the task and assured us that he will take over.

By then, we have finished our meal. This part of the meeting, the Mayor takes charge too. He decides what we will eat, gives us second helpings, asks the restaurant staff to cut the cookies into half, and pays the bill with his personal credit card. He finishes the meal by summarizing the tasks to be done. We are all completely under his spell and have taken notes of our assignments.

He says "I will see you off, Ma'am." He takes me outside the mall but bids me goodbye when he sees his car.

There he goes. Tomorrow, we will begin working on his assigned tasks. Did I coach him or did he coach me? mguevara@synergeia. org.ph