HOW TO KEEP SEX LIFE HEALTHY IN MARRIAGE
My husband and I are struggling with our sex lives. In fact, we can say it is close to non-existent. How can we improve in this department?
QFirst thing to do is to openly talk about it. There were times in our marriage where I have to humble myself and ask how I am doing in bed. As men, we need to take the initiative to lead in our marriage, and that includes our sex life. As you have these conversations with your spouse, remember that sexual intimacy doesn’t really begin in the bedroom, nor is it achieved through sexual acts only. Intimacy, or oneness, is something to be nurtured everywhere, at all times. Serving and meeting your spouse’s need is a vital component for a fulfilling sex life.
It means that I have sex with my wife not just to please myself, but also to pleasure her. I no longer think about only myself. Imagine if all married couples had sex with that in mind. It would be the best sex possible.
We can learn a principle called “mutual fulfillment.” Sex in marriage must be mutually fulfilling. Sex, like communication, must be a two-way street and not only one way. Both of you will achieve fulfillment when you come into the marriage bed thinking, “How can I pleasure her?” and she enters thinking, “How can I pleasure him?” If both of you have a goal of mutually fulfilling each other, the end result is satisfied lovers.
I know this might be a paradigm shift, especially for us men. Most men think and live as if their wives owe them sexual favors all the time. Without look good, and prep for the night.
Great sex happens when you make your spouse your priority in life. Great sex is based on pleasing each other not just in bed, but also in everyday life. It is not “How can you serve me?” but rather, “How can I serve you?”
Unfortunately, most couples have a ME-marriage.
How can you serve me?
About the author: Dennis is a the senior pastor of Victory Greenhills and is a best-selling author of three books. Thammie is a homeschooling mom and a certified childbirth educator and labor coach. They have been married for thirteen years and have four kids.