PARENTING AND PURSUING YOUR PASSION
These days, juggling parenting with a career or business is a huge enough task. Parents often find themselves getting pulled into different directions, and not having enough hours in a day to do everything on the to-do list. Yes, being a parent means our children’s needs always come before our own. But we have to realize that becoming a parent, with our focus on helping our children achieve their dreams, does not mean the end for our own.
We asked these amazing moms, who pursued their passions, to share
their journey in the hopes that their stories will inspire you to find and pursue yours.
IDENTIFY YOUR PASSION
The first thing to do is to know your passion. Sounds easy, right? But when I was asked this question before, I was stunned. I didn’t really know if what I wanted was a passion or just a hobby. There are many versions on the definition of passion, but one that sticks to mind (and easier to remember) is Oprah Winfrey’s definition, “Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.”
So, how do you know what passion is for you?
Steph Cueva, 45, spa manager and mom to Amanda, 12, and Adrienne, 7, is passionate about baking and cake decorating. “I just feel so happy when baking. Even if I am tired from work, I would still fulfill orders. Everytime I receive an order, even just for a small cake, I would spend days conceptualizing the design.” She has been baking from home for two years before she decided to put up @NomNomOven in 2017 after a trip to the U.S. “I was so inspired by the beautiful cookies I saw at a neighborhood bakery in San Mateo, California. I also wanted to recreate the aroma of freshly baked cookies at home for the kids. So I bought a small oven and a small mixer. I would bake anything from cookies to cakes and give them to neighbors and friends to try. I’d get giddy when they say they liked my goodies.”
Another case is this mom who loves animals. “I love animals! There’s just something about them that fascinates me a lot. I think they are very intelligent creatures that need more respect and compassion from humans, especially in our developing country. I currently have five birds, two guinea pigs and seven dogs at home." said animal advocate and make-up artist Joyce Ignacio, 41, who is a wife to Robert and mom to Anton, 13.
Her passion for caring for animals started from a very early age. “Ever since I was a kid, I was exposed to a family who are animals lovers, from my grandfather to my uncles and my dad. I grew up keeping different pets in our home like birds, rabbits, dogs, cats and even monkeys, pigs, chicken and ducks! It gave me a lot of joy taking care of them. I learned that they feel and think just like us humans. It’s a very special bond built on trust that I share with them.”
Training in between parenting duties became routinary for this mom. 2018 Asian Open IBJJF Jiu-Jitsu Championship (In Tokyo) Gold - Open Weight Division Blue Belt Champion Alexandria Lee, 25, is a fulltime Mom to Xander who is 4 years old, and Kyra who is two. Her passion for Jiu-Jitsu, working out and competing started when she was 19. “After I joined my first competition, and won two bronze bronze medals, jiu-jitsu became an addiction to me. This is also where I met my husband Alvin. Training hard and competing turned into a routine for me even after giving birth to two kids." She has since then won numerous medals both here and abroad.
CREATE A SCHEDULE
You have to create a balance between all the things you need to do in managing the home and your family’s needs, your career, and setting aside time for nurturing your passion. Fit into your schedule any act, small or big, to get you closer to fulfilling your dream.
Do research, attend classes, train, practice, or get involved in activities and organizations that will place you in an environment that would help you in your pursuit. Steph shares, “During my free time, I would scan Instagram, Pinterest and cake-decorating sites for more ideas. I attended local workshops for cake decorating to hone my craft. I usually do my baking after I bring the kids to school so it’s all quiet and I can work without interruptions or after dinner so I have the kitchen to myself. This is when I’m off from work. “
Joyce is a volunteer at PAWS (Philippine Animal Welfare Society), a voluntary-based non-government organization whose primary goal is to prevent animal cruelty through education, animal sheltering and advocacy. “Being involved with PAWS is purely voluntary. Last year, one of my dogs, Noah, was certified as a therapy dog under the Doctor Dog program (an innovative animal-assisted therapy programme that provides people in need with what they need most – a best friend) of Animal Asia Foundation that tied up with PAWS. Dr. Noah and I attend various invitations from hospitals, elderly homes, and school that need dog therapy. We commit on our free time and there is no pressure. So usually on days that I don’t have work or free weekends, I sign up for events and invite the family to be involved in the activities. My son and husband are real troopers and very supportive of this.”
Alexandria makes sure to set aside time for what's important. She trains everyday while her children are asleep, which is from 8:00 pm until 10:00 pm. “If I need to train on the weekends, I normally bring them with me to the gym. They love watching me and my husband spar and sometimes they even join part of the class.”
NEVER GIVE UP
There will be times that “life gets in the way” as they say, and you may find yourself feeling like giving up. There will be struggles, but what is important is you remain resilient, and just pick up where you left off.
Steph has challenges up until now and shares, “The stress of meeting an order deadline when you have to squeeze in family, work and passion. Going to work groggy and sleepy, because I pulled an all-nighter finishing an order. I feel being pulled in all directions. My kids asking me to help them with their school work, and the office calling me because there is a client complaint. At the same time, I would forget to take the cake out of the oven. I multi-task as best as I could, and there are times I just want to scream stop! But I would do this over and over again. In a heartbeat.”
“Pursuing your passion takes dedication, discipline, and sacrifice,” Alexandria declares. “Jiu-jitsu has given me the gift of perseverance. From giving birth to two kids, and training modified jiu-jitsu all throughout my entire pregnancies, and coming back to compete after giving birth, I have experienced wanting to give up countless times. Through the help of my teammates, they pushed me beyond my limits.”
YOUR FAMILY NEEDS YOU TO BE YOU
There is no argument that your family needs most of your time and attention. But remember that your family will always benefit from the best version of you, and this means being a parent who feels fulfilled within him or herself.
Joyce has this to say, “First off, don’t be afraid to pursue your passion. It can start out with small acts of giving back to the community. Second, be open and let the family get involved in your passion. This way, they will understand the time spent for your passion is for a good cause. Being involved in animal rights advocacies has given me self-fulfillment. More than all the success in my career or family life, parang this has been a dream project in my heart that the feeling is just intense and overflowing, with such immense joy. "
“It’s important to find time for yourself and do the things that make you happy because this is what will give you fulfillment. When you’re happy with yourself, you become a better person for your spouse, kids, and family,” added Alexandria.
Being a parent is a lifelong career, but it doesn’t mean the end of your personal pursuits. You have to realize that you need to fulfill your own wants and dreams too. The best way to encourage your children to go for their own dreams, is to show them that you went for yours.
Angel studied Political Economy but found more satisfaction working in the fashion and advertising industries. She is a professional fashion stylist since year 2000, under her own brand Style Angel (@style_angelph on Instagram). She took time off from work for a few years to be a stay-athome-mom to her son Rocco. She is now the Business Development Manager for .Coach and the Style Coach of La Magie, The Makeover Specialists.
You have to create a balance between all the things you need to do in managing the home and your family’s needs, your career, and setting aside time for nurturing your passion. Fit into your schedule any act, small or big, to get you closer to fulfilling your dream.