TLC For Aging Moms

Older moms need, more than ever, all the love and care they can get

It is a worldwide known fact that women outlive men in this lifetime. It is also common for children to take care of their moms in their senior years, especially in the Filipino culture. The second generation will often find themselves caught between raising kids to young adulthood and then taking on the responsibility of taking care of their aging parents. All these in addition to keeping the household intact, earning a living, and nurturing personal life. If you are in this stage of your life, these tips will help you embrace this season with joy and appreciation.

Acceptance

It is futile to fight something that is inevitable such as aging. This is accompanied by physical, cognitive, and behavioral changes. Therefore, we cannot expect our moms to be as strong and astute as when she was in the pink of health. Getting into the right perspective and acceptance will give you a deeper understanding of what your mom is undergoing.

Time

We are all busy but we do make time for the people who matter. We even make time for things that we value. Therefore we must make an effort to set aside time to be with our moms, even if they come to a point when they can barely recognize us. We need time to work to make ends meet. That is given. We often reason out that we can’t spend time with our aging moms because we need to make more money in order to provide for her and the rest of the family. Quality time spent with the people we love, however, matter more than the material things we can provide. Schedule quality time daily or even on a weekly basis much like you will schedule your gym or spa sessions.

Autonomy

Let us respect our mom’s autonomy. Give her options. Allow her to make her own choices. We can suggest but we cannot dictate, even if we have taken them under our wing. That does not give us the right to disrespect our moms. Never treat your aging mom like a child. Treat her with the dignity and respect she deserves even if she goes back to her second childhood.

Seek help

No one ever said that taking care of older people is easy. Don’t expect yourself to take on this Herculean responsibility on your own. Get the entire family involved. Siblings must share responsibilities. Even grandchildren, young as they are, can spend a few minutes with their dear grandmama singing songs or just having plain fun. If finances allow, hiring a competent caregiver would be best. Although mostly frowned upon in our culture, adult day care centers or senior home care can be an option in providing quality care especially if the children are not capable of giving quality care. This does not mean that we don’t have to do our part of visiting and spending quality time with our moms.

Meditation

How do you protect yourself from the exhausting task of juggling family life, career, taking care of your mom and yourself? How can you give so much when you yourself have nothing left to even sustain your energy? Remember to pause and meditate daily. There are many types of meditation: prayer, deep breathing, or whatever works for you. The idea is to do centering. Gather your thoughts, surrender, and just be in a state of acceptance and releasing everything you have no control over. It may take a few minutes, an hour, or even more. Take as much time as you need to rest and recover.

Reflect on these tips and let your mom feel extra special this Mother’s Day.

Quality time spent with the people we love, however, matter more than the material things we can provide. Schedule quality time daily or even on a weekly basis much like you will schedule your gym or spa sessions.