Who’s your barber?

Connoisseurs, drinkers, drunkards, alcoholics and future members of AA are now free to buy their poison and imbibe in the comfort of home. But barbers and hairstylists are not allowed to open their barbershops and salons. The new normal is a nobrainer.

Where does the President get his haircut? What special pass entitles his barber to display his cuttingedge technology in Malacañang? How do Messrs. Duque and Roque trim their hair before facing the cameras without first submitting to a barber holding a meter-long pair of scissors? Is DOH Usec Ma. Rosario Vergeire her own stylist?

While the rest of us are compelled by a mindless law to look like hermits, mad scientists, witches, warlocks, hags with a “buhaghag” approach, 200,000 hairstylists and an unknown population of trustworthy barbers have been denied the creative but necessary use of their skills. Languishing, twisting their tresses, they want to know what is the logic, if any, behind this mandated trend of unkempt locks sprouting like weeds out of a hundred million heads.

How much longer? How long does IATF want us to grow our crowning glory – shoulder length, waist length? What is the anti-covid standard – 15 inches from the crown? 28 inches down the back? How long before

IATF grows brains under their healthy, hair-covered skulls to realize the folly of it all?

Besides barbers and hairstylists, there are millions of manicurists, massage and spa attendants, makeup artists and the like who have been idled – not a healthy place to be — by “Heal as One.” While their tasks may not be “essential,” they nonetheless provide services that lift our sagging muscles and spirits. Who doesn’t need to look good, feel good ten weeks into a hair-raising pandemic?

Piolo Pascual, Dawn Zulueta, Judy Ann Santos, Maricel Soriano, Gabby Concepcion, Arlene Muhlach are not ashamed to show the whites and silvers coming out of their scalp, if only we could be as photogenic. Our own fifty shades of gray and grayer need lots of covering up, Mr. Duterte being the only 75-year-old with black hair that shines glossily enough for a shampoo commercial.

If we promise to bring our own shears, cape, comb to the barberia/ parlor, would IATF put on their thinking cap and reconsider?