Ebe Dancel opens up about his struggles in coping with anxiety amid lockdown
“Meron akong sense na pag gising ko, parang nalulunod na ko. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupunta, anong gagawin ko.”
Those were the words of singer-songwriter Ebe Dance in describing how he felt especially in the early days of the community quarantine.
He said so in the most recent episode of “Quarantined with Howie Severino” where he touched on his mental health amid lockdown.
The artist belongs to a sector most affected by the quarantines. See, with mass gatherings forbidden in recent months in a bid to control the spread of the virus, musicians like himself could not perform live so there goes his main source of livelihood.
It was hard to accept---and it didn’t help that Ebe was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder even before the pandemic.
“The sadness lingers. It weighs me down. It paralyzes me and no matter how hard I try to move sometimes, talagang I’m literally frozen in bad. Ganoon. Naninigas ako. ’Yon ang pagkaka-explain ng doktor sa akin,” he said.
“Tapos meron din akong bouts of emptiness. You know? Wala akong nararamdaman. No pain, no happiness. Sadness is just ... there are days I wake up totally empty.”
Eventually, though, he learned to cope.
“I had a long conversation with my manager,” he said. “I’ve accepted where I am and as much as I want to do shows, I cannot and I should not. Safety is of utmost important. Kailangan i-prioritize.”
Does he worry about the future? Well, who wouldn’t.
“There are days when I worry, saan ako kukuha ng income? I’m sure a lot of musicians feel that way…”
Although he’s thankful for online shows, Ebe said it’s only a “shortterm solution.”
“There is nothing like hearing and seeing things for yourself in terms of live performance,” he said. “It’s weird performing in front of my camera. Ok ba yung tunog ko? Nakikinig pa ba sila?”
But it could be just him. After all, his fans have never stopped reassuring him of their adulation and admiration.
“I received actual letters from people through email or my Facebook page or to Instagram, Twitter, saying that, ‘You know this specific song of yours spoke to me during a very dark time and it made me live for another day. It made me cope. It made me look forward to better days even if it’s not tomorrow that I’m confident that it will happen and that I’m not alone.’”
Some of Ebe’s greatest hits either as solo artist or as part of Sugarfree are “Wag Ka Nang Umiyak,” “Bawat Daan,” “Dapithapon,” “Kwarto” and “Cuida.”