Loneliness, an emerging epidemic

LONELINESS, as old as time itself, is difficult to describe. It’s a little bit like love, but you don’t know what it is until you feel it. However, no one who was born in this world has gone through a life that was devoid of loneliness, alienation, feeling disconnected from others, and lack of meaningful relationships and social connections.

Although we as humans take pride in our inventions, ranging from new energy solutions to virtual reality and even artificial intelligence, we did not invent this one — loneliness was here even before any of us were born. It has been depicted in the Bible, exhibited in various art forms, expressed in literature, and discussed deeply in philosophy. And as we observe how things are in this world right now, it is here to stay.

Loneliness has indeed been recognized as a significant public health issue by the World Health Organization (WHO), which can be as detrimental to one’s health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

In a meta-gallup survey conducted in late 2023, nearly 1 in 4 people worldwide feel very or fairly lonely, with equal proportions of men and women feeling lonely. This translates to more than 1 billion people. The age group that feels the loneliest is between 19 and 29 years old, followed by 15 and 18 years old and 30 and 44 years old. The 45-64 age group is ranked second as the population that feels least lonely, followed by older adults 65 and above.

Now, one might ask, is there a difference between being lonely and experiencing loneliness? Being lonely and experiencing loneliness may sound alike, but there is a distinct difference between the two. Being lonely is associated with one’s sense of self-worth. It can make a person feel that something is lacking or that they do not feel their value is worthy to develop meaningful connections with other people. It’s important to recognize that experiencing loneliness, on the other hand, is a common human emotion and does not necessarily signify inadequacy or lack of worth. Instead, it is a natural part of the human experience that everyone encounters at some point in their lives.

By understanding this difference, individuals can adopt a more compassionate and objective perspective toward their feelings of loneliness. They can acknowledge these feelings without internalizing them as reflections of their self-worth. This shift in mindset can empower individuals to address their loneliness more effectively and seek meaningful connections and support systems to alleviate those feelings.

Loneliness is a complex psychological and emotional state that can arise from a variety of factors. Here are some key reasons why people may experience loneliness from a psychological perspective:

Social isolation. Loneliness often stems from a lack of meaningful social connections. This can occur due to physical isolation, such as living alone or being geographically distant from friends and family. It can also result from social isolation within a group, where one feels disconnected or alienated despite being surrounded by others.

Relationship breakdowns. Loneliness can be triggered by the breakdown of close relationships, such as romantic partnerships, friendships, or familial ties. When these connections are severed or strained, individuals may feel a profound sense of isolation.

Cognitive factors. Certain cognitive biases and thought patterns can contribute to feelings of loneliness. For example, individuals who ruminate excessively on negative thoughts or who have a pessimistic outlook on social interactions may be more prone to loneliness.

Life transitions. Major life transitions such as moving to a new city, starting a new job, or experiencing the loss of a loved one can disrupt social networks and lead to feelings of loneliness. Adjusting to these changes and forming new connections takes time, leaving individuals vulnerable to loneliness in the interim.

Technology and social media. While technology has made it easier to connect with others remotely, it can also contribute to feelings of loneliness. Excessive use of social media platforms, for example, can foster superficial connections, which may exacerbate loneliness rather than alleviate it.

While loneliness is an emerging epidemic, it is also good to note that half of the world is not feeling lonely. Forty-nine percent of people in the Meta-Gallup survey indicated they do not feel lonely at all, translating into approximately 2.2 billion people across the 142 countries in the study.

It is important to recognize that loneliness is a temporary emotion and that there are ways to develop resilience and coping strategies to navigate challenging times. It encourages people to reach out to others for support, engage in activities that bring them joy and fulfillment, and cultivate a sense of belonging and connection in their lives.

Overcoming loneliness can be a challenging journey, but there are several strategies you can try:

Build connections. Try to reach out to friends, family, or acquaintances. Join clubs, groups, or communities based on your interests. Volunteering can also be a great way to meet new people and feel connected.

Nurture relationships. Invest time and effort into maintaining existing relationships. Regularly schedule catch-ups with friends or family members, even if it is just a phone call or video chat.

Practice self-compassion. Be kind to yourself and recognize that feeling lonely is a common human experience. Practice self-care activities that promote your well-being, such as exercise, meditation, or pursuing personal goals.

Seek professional help. If loneliness persists and significantly impacts your wellbeing, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. They can provide support, guidance, and strategies to help you manage and overcome loneliness.

Focus on gratitude. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude by reflecting on the positive aspects of your life and the relationships you have. Gratitude can help shift your perspective and increase feelings of connection and contentment.

It can be difficult to admit that one is lonely, but, in truth, we are all at risk of loneliness. The biggest challenge is that it is difficult for others to spot because it is a personal and subjective thing. No one can tell with certainty whether someone is truly lonely — the only way to be sure is if that person expresses how they feel. I hope that this is the start of a lot more opportunities to express and acknowledge our emotions as Filipinos. Overcoming loneliness is a gradual process, and seeking support along the way is OK. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories as you work towards building meaningful connections and a sense of belonging.