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Why do so many relationsh­ips break down?

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EVERY relationsh­ip can be unique, and the reasons for breakups can be just as unique. Still, there may be several common reasons that relationsh­ips come to an end. These can include infidelity, lack of effort, fading feelings, loss of trust, and a pattern of unproducti­ve or unhealthy fighting.

Actually, “relationsh­ip” comes from the Latin “referre” or “relatum”, which means “to bring back”. Some might say: That’s of no importance to me. That doesn’t worry me at all. There is even no need to worry about it. Yes, sometimes, we wish people around us weren’t so thoughtles­s.

In one of my penultimat­e columns I tried to explain, “when to keep our mouth shut”! Silence is also an answer – sure! But some of my readers posed the question, if broken relationsh­ips can be only restored by silence or waiting. My answer is YES and/or NO! Sometimes it’s a wonder, what a small dose of determined silence can do. Relationsh­ips are ALWAYS worth restoring, because life is all about learning how to love and how to value relationsh­ips and make the effort to maintain them instead of discarding them whenever there is a rift, a hurt, or a conflict.

The Bible told us that all of us have been given the ministry of restoring broken relationsh­ips.

Broken or c ooled down relationsh­ips can be noticed at any corner. Restoring them is equal to peacemakin­g or peacekeepi­ng but also not avoiding facing conflicts.

Running away from a problem (and then keeping the mouth shut!), pretending that the problem doesn’t exist or being too afraid to talk about it, that’s how the hypocritic­al coward acts. Some people love to downplay everything: Things aren’t too bad – they could be worse!

Unfortunat­ely, sometimes people who love each other are pulled apart by things like distance, trouble communicat­ing, trust issues, or having a different vision for the future. It might not feel like it right now, but you’re going to feel better with time. I always love to talk to God before I talk to a person. Later, I can find the right moment and take the initiative to restore broken relationsh­ips or face the problem. I can even look out for others’ interests first.

I can use “my telescope of life” ( from the Greek word “skopos”) and play close attention. I can start with sympathy but not with great solutions right away. I can confess my part of a possible conflict. Paul said in Romans 12: 18: “Do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everybody!” In resolving conflicts, a word not to be spoken may be the choicest word of all, or I F WE TALK, HOW we say i t , i s i mportant. The US- author Rick Warren confessed in one of his books: “We can establish a relationsh­ip even when we are unable to resolve our difference­s. Christians often have legitimate, honest disagreeme­nts and differing opinions. But, we can disagree without being disagreeab­le. The same diamond looks different from different angles. God expects unity, not uniformity, and we can walk arm-in-arm without seeing eyeto-eye on every issue!”

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