Why it’s harder being a mom than being a boss
‘Whether you’re a working mom or a stay-at-home mom, you can feel mom guilt’
Juggling conference calls and crayon masterpieces. Sealing business deals and wiping scraped knees. The life of a modern mother who also thrives in her career is a whirlwind of responsibility and reward.
Among these women is Michelle Robles-de Castro, mother of three, who also has a demanding job as VP for Advertising of the family-owned Sta. Lucia Land Inc. In this Q&A, Robles-de Castro delves into the realities of navigating both motherhood and professional responsibilities— and the importance of having a good partner and support system at home.
Please describe your style of parenting. How are you as a mom compared to how you are as a boss at work?
I try to establish authority with both my staff at work and the kids at home. I try to give them a set of guidelines and let them know my expectations. With my staff, I provide them with a clear set of guidelines and expectations. When it comes to kids, I have to consider their age and level of maturity. Setting guidelines for a 3-year-old would be different from doing so for a 9-year-old.
What have you learned from your own mother that has been helpful to you as you raise your own kids? Who else do you look up to, or run to for advice, when it comes to raising your kids?
When I was younger, both my parents were always busy with work and couldn’t always attend my events. However, things have changed. Now with our generation, we can be more hands-on with our kids. As we are in the digital age, it’s easier to talk to staff at work from home. Being physically present is more possible. My parents always made time for us even with their work, so that’s one thing I’ll try to apply to being a mother.
My mom is very generous and she is also very supportive. I also look up to my dad. While he may not be at every single event, he’s there for the ones that matter. Apart from my parents, I also admire my mom friends who work, as well. I seek advice from them, especially on how they handle certain situations.
What’s your partnership like with your husband when it comes to disciplining your children? Are you strict or indulgent with them? How do you and your husband divide responsibilities at home?
I’m glad that I have a very hands-on husband. We distribute equally our responsibilities in our house. We take the kids to school and extracurricular activities, and we go on one-onone dates with each of our kids.
Please share your thoughts on how society makes career women feel guilty for juggling work and home. Do you ever feel “mom guilt”? How do you explain to your kids the demands of your job? Do you ever feel that you have to overcompensate for your absences?
I think mom guilt is real and will always exist, no matter how many kids you have or how much time you give them. Whether you’re a working mom or a stay-at-home mom, you can feel mom guilt. What matters is the qualiWhat ty of time you spend with your children.
In our family, we try to be transparent with our kids. When Dad can’t make it to certain events, we explain the reason to them in a gentle and supportive way, so that they can understand. I travel, I someWhenever times buy my children gifts because I feel guilty for being away from them, even though it may not be necessary. Of course, I don’t want them to get used to it and expect gifts every time I’m away.
What to you is the hardest part of balancing your career with motherhood?
The hardest part is not having enough time. I do so many things daily that I have to plan everything. I try my best so nothing is out of place.
Is your workplace supportive, and sympathetic, of working moms? What changes have you as a boss implemented at work that’s beneficial to other moms in your company?
I am grateful that both my husband and I have flexible work schedules. I feel fortunate to have a supportive family who understands my situation. Additionally, I am grateful for my colleagues at work, as well as the reliable staff at home who have been with us for several years, some even for decades.
As a working mom myself, I am very supportive of the working moms in the company. I try to embrace this mom’s perspective and understand their struggles.
What are the lessons and values you hope your children will learn from you, both as their mother and as a successful person?
I think one of those lessons is to be independent and also, you have to choose the right partner. You must have a very supportive partner who has the same goals. You need a strong support system.
What is harder to you—being a mom or being a boss?
Being a mom, as you don’t get paid being a mom. But you get the biggest reward of all.