Can anger be good?

Iam baffled. When do we resort to righteous anger and when do we practice the great advice, “It is better to be kind than to be right?” Can we be angry and still be kind? What does the bible verse mean in Ephesians 4:26, “Be angry, and yet do not sin?”

Dr. Henry Cloud wrote in his book, “The Secret Things of God,” that God wired us to get angry. Why, when anger seems so destructive? His answer: So we can have good relationships. It is so confusing, right? How can anger bring about good relationships?

He says that while anger seems so destructive, especially when not controlled, it should be meant to preserve good things and not destroy them. In fact, if used properly, anger can be an important tool for good relationships and good life.

What then is the nature of righteous anger? Dr. Cloud describes it as a protective emotion, designed to protect what is good and destroy what is bad. “We get angry, by design, when something that is good and valuable to us is endangered or injured or threatened.”

All of us face different kinds of trials everyday. Sometimes, they are small trials. Sometimes, they are a crisis of intense magnitude. For example, when a loving relationship is threatened by betrayal, cheating or lying, our anger is aroused and we most often react with great fury, standing up for the love that is threatened.

I am slowly beginning to understand the righteous anger that someone close to me has shown in the past. He was standing up for what is right. He was fighting for love, and doing his best to put an end to what he believed was evil.

If in spite of the evil we see and we do not feel any anger, our hearts could grow cold, and we could become a prisoner in a relationship without even knowing it. So, indeed anger, if used properly, can be a good thing. It is like a good soldier, protecting its country; or a strong immune system, protecting its body.

Dr. Cloud writes that the secret to anger is just like the verse says, “Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.”

If we are to protect and preserve the good things in life, we need to “feel our anger” to know that something is wrong. It is our signal. But when we do, we should not sin in the way we