MY DEAREST

If you are able to sow love in response to hate, you are doing one of the most difficult things humans can do, and you will ultimately see hate become love.

So, should we hate back, and hate the person God loves? Or should we love the person God loves? My dearest family and friends,

If you hate someone:

Know that God loves the person you hate. You are called to love others, and not hate anyone.

When you hate, it is you who suffer. It is like taking poison, and wishing the other person will get ill.

Listen to time tested, values-based, well-meaning advice.

Check yourself. Could there be hatred and unforgiveness in your heart for yourself? If there are errors in your past, mistakes in judgment, and self-perceived flaws, they may have occurred because they had to.

You needed to be in that darkness in order to transcend it.

Your ego believes that you are what you do, what you have, what others think of you. The truth is, your worthiness is a given. You are a creature of God, loved by Him.

Forgive yourself. And it helps to have God forgive you in the sacrament of confession. Hear God forgive you, thru the words of the priest. Believe God loves you.

Love is the light that conquers the darkness of hatred.

In the face of hatred:

1. Repeat over and over, “Lord make me an instrument of your peace; where there is ha- tred, let me sow love.” Rememberthat the hater is imperfect, and so are we. Yet God loves all of us unconditionally.

2. Silently send that person a blessing and remove yourself from the emotions of fear and hatred.

3. Gently leave the scene of hatred without screaming or cursing or loudly responding. This sends a message to the hater that you love yourself too much to be his or her victim by also falling into a hateful mode. Do not allow anyone to cause you to feel and display hatred. Removing yourself from the scene is a way to keep your peace, and give the hater a space to reflect on his actions in private. Remember, his hatred is his torment. Do not allow his hate to become yours.

4. Avoid talking about the person’s hatred, and reinforcing how wrong was the behavior of the hater. Speak about it only to persons who are in a position to correct or act positively about the situation. Otherwise, it is just gossiping, and it encourages dislike or even hatred by others for the hater. (hatred by proxy)

5. Use a letter as a means of sending love. Very often it is quite difficult to reach out to someone who is full of hatred. The hater who reads it is unable to argue back, even if he disagrees with what you write. By sending love in a written form you do not fan the sparks of hatred which flare up in heated exchanges. Connect with love and generosity.

6. Turn to God. Doing so allows you to sow love, because God radiates love. Get out of your ego, which wants to retaliate and triumph over hatred. Love and hate cannot exist together.

7. Pray for the hater, just as you would pray for someone who is sick or in need of help.

It may take time, but surely love will transform hatred into joy and beauty.

“Where there is hatred, let me sow love.”