Places in the heart
“There are places in the heart which do not yet exist, into which suffering enters to give them existence.”
THIS quote from William Bloyd by the late fellow Baguio newsman Freddie Mayo comes to mind more frequently now than before I plunged into four-times-a-week bloodcleansing or dialysis.
It’s been three years since nephrologist, Dr. Josephine Laza- Luspian. told me , and quite gently – that diabetes has taken its toll, destroying my kidneys. To survive, I would have to spend four hours four times a week on the couch for the machine to clean from my bloodstream what normally should come out as urine
Thanks to friends and strangers, including those I hardly remember but who reach out to remind me it’s my turn to be helped, if only to sustain this life waiting for your blood to be cleansed every other day.
Now and then, I would throw unanswered questions to the ceiling. Now and then, I would come lose to surrendering, to dashing my cup on the ground, only to jump back to my senses. Despite all those cussing and questioning why fate has been so unkind, life –or whatever remains of it – is still beautiful.
That’s why it was a balm when two women of substance – Mary Sacgaca and Twinkle Ann – Micklay met me the other week at Luisa’s Café. That’s where I spend hours killing time on tables and chairs I used to wake up on when Chongloi, the owner of the place, would wake me up from drunken sleep to say it’s closing time and we had to go.
Mary’s husband, former Mayor Pascual Sacgaca of Bontoc, Mt. Province, called me up the day before she came, saying she needed to see me. She and Twinkle handed me envelopes with cash inside. For my dialysis they said. The amounts came from the Sacgaca couple of Balili, Bontoc, Mt., Province, and members of the Gonogonians, the organization of people who trace their roots to Gonogon where I spent some of the best years of my life.
Twinkle gave me a copy of a letter former mayor Sacgaca wrote to my benefactors, citing our work in helping the barangay work out its water rights and accessing funds from Sena- tor Francis Drilon for the start of the construction of the barangay hall.
Instead of laughing, Twinkle was wiping her eyes, almost unbelieving I could still crack jokes despite my illness. It was the best compliment I heard for sometime now.
My experience in Gonogon was made possible by my friendship with the late Punong Barangay Jackson Paclayan. He would yank me out of my work to do resolutions and help the barangay restore its water and boundary rights. While Jackson was able to obtain for Gonogon its traditional water rights from the National Water Resources Board, the community still awaits action from the Sangguniang Bayan of Bontoc and from the Sangguniang Pnlalawigan of Mt. Province on its effort to protect its water rights. I suspect that the indecision is due to the fear of politicians’ losing votes should they decide in favor of Gonogon.
Whatever. Gonogon’s gesture of reaching out to enable me to sustain my life-time dialysis has given me a boost far more precious than the sum people pooled to give me a new lease on life.
I, too, am grateful to lawyer Rene Cortes and former Punong Barangay Edward Aclopen of Gibraltar, Baguio City for those cock derbies they sponsored to help me carry on this constant burden of where to look for funds for your next dialysis. I am indebted, too, to many people, some of whom I hardly know. They would meet me on the street and clasp into my hand one or two hundred peso bills to add to my dialysis fund. They are numerous and it would be difficult mentioning them here without missing some of them.