Today is a gift

ICOULD no longer remember the last time I went to church. Not that I lost my faith, but more like I feel embarrassed to step into a holy ground when I failed to keep the promises I made some years ago. You see, I had five years of seminary formation before I decided to go out and live a secular life like most people do. In those five years I have had promises I was not able to keep.

Today, after dropping off a friend in Divisoria I suddenly had the urge to sneak into St. Augustine Cathedral. I went inside the Eucharistic Room, something I used to do while I was growing.

The scene was familiar, old ladies praying the rosary, a deafening silence, and of course, there in front and on spotlight... the Eucharist.

My mind wandered. I was restless. I could not keep myself still. I tried some centering exercises but to no avail. I probably need a lot of getting used to before I can tune myself back in His presence. My new mind and body has forgotten to stay still and listen. I was too distracted.

Part of me wants to leave the place. But I fought the urge for I know I was led there for a reason. So I sat. And I waited... until I felt just pure peace. Nothing, no image of some sort in my meditation, just feeling all relaxed and at home. A grace I didn’t deserve. But I was there, I was in the moment and I allowed myself to enjoy it.

All of a sudden I didn’t feel alone. That I was never really alone. I got lots of questions I wanted answered, but at that point, peace was enough.

All the negativities and the baggage I was carrying for years from failed relationships, betrayals at work, adversaries, poor choices, and inner struggles seem to vanish at that moment. They didn’t matter. They don’t matter. Today is a gift.

I left the prayer room feeling anew. And just when I stepped out of the door, the care taker shouted at me and scolded me for entering the room wearing shorts. ‘Aw sorry sister!’ I forgot, this world has its own rules. And just that, I’m back to reality.

In my social media account, I have been known to endorse good restaurants I get to visit, and if I do that, why not this kind of food.

So let me invite everyone this weekend to find time to visit your holy places wherever they may be. It doesn’t really mean that if you do then are already holy and saintly. No, not at all, the thought of that will surely kill my friends from laughing knowing me and my childish ways. I am way far from that. Spending time for prayer just means we recognize that Higher Being behind our breathing and our loving, that we want to find sense on everything around us, and that we also want to connect.