Surviving a toxic situation
It is so easy to give into despair and wallow in misery when bad things happen. I have been living this situation for more than two weeks now. My husband was hit by a 10 wheeler truck last November 24, resulting in multiple injuries, with the main problem being the bleeding and swelling in his brain. Healing takes a lot of time. On top of that, my youngest son was confined, too, because of infection. My two older children also got sick. Why must bad stuff happen all at the same time?
It has really been a very chaotic time, fraught with immense worry and fear. However, I do not believe I am unlucky because I trust in God’s plans. He sees things which our frail human mind cannot. I have always believed everything in our life happens for a purpose, and these situations lead us to where we are meant to be. He is not punishing us but teaching and moulding us.
All of us would typically ask ‘why is this happening to me?’ But it is vital not to dwell on that question. Refocus and ask instead, what will I learn from this experience? Sometimes, successfully dealing with a bad situation rests on attitude. Here are the elements that have helped me to pull through during this very hard time:
Take refuge in faith
I get that some others are nonbelievers and that’s ok. But for me, I am only able to get through this without bitterness in my heart because I firmly believe that God is my ally.
It is so much easier to get through trying times when you believe in a higher power. When things become too much of a burden to carry, the best recourse is to kneel and pray. There are some things that man cannot do alone. I am also thankful for my prayer warriors who have rallied around me to give their full support. It is very comforting to know that I am not alone. God’s love is manifested in people’s kindness. I am able to sail through the rough times because I have angels in the form of people carrying me through it.
Surround yourself with positive people
In toxic situations, I have learned that it is important to choose the people who you allow into your circle so you can protect your peace. There are many out there who genuinely care. It is a joy to let these selfless people come into our life because they make the burdens lighter. Accepting the help they offer also feels good as it comes with no strings attached. Hindi ka susumbatan! If someone has the audacity to stress you even more with their petty problems while you’re already struggling—ignore them. Some people just thrive on drama and have no consideration at all. Just keep focusing on what you need to do. One giant blessing of a bad situation is that it actually filters out the genuine people from the fake ones.
Count your blessings
In spite of being in this situation, I realize that I am still blessed beyond measure. How can I not be when God loves us all. I have tremendous support from my immediate family, who all flew in to help me and the kids. Our extended Natogoria family was always by my side, never leaving me alone. Our friends have all come to show their love and support. In the 15 days of my husband in the ICU, we always had a visitor. Even strangers have come to me personally and some have messaged me to say that this journey has touched and inspired them. There is indeed a purpose for this suffering because it has brought others closer to Him. Truly, no man is an island. I can only hold onto hope because of the kindness people have shown us. I may have spent a lot of money, energy and emotions, but I have never been empty.
Attitude spells everything
A lot of people say that this positivity thing is overrated. But I think this whole ordeal, would not have been possible if I dwelled on the negativities only. Even my husband was consistently cracking jokes while he was recovering in the ICU to cheer me up. It is important to remind ourselves of the big picture. No matter what we have been put through or are going through, never forget this: this is merely a phase that we are just passing through to get onto the next chapter. Problems do not last forever. And as cliche as it may sound one thing is definitely sure— what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger! So kapit lang kay God and laban lang. Life may not be easy all the time, but it is still always beautiful. It is already a gift to see each new day. To God always be the glory!