Bato in the house
The burly man slowly approached his victim. Sharp knife in hand, he swiftly and expertly sliced in half the body of his intended target.
He didn’t show remorse. No blood was drawn, surprisingly, and no one screamed for help or called the police. In fact, everybody who witnessed the incident applauded with delight. After all, the guy was just slicing bananas.
It was the police, or rather Philippine National Police (PNP) director Gen. Ronald “Bato” De La Rosa in the house. He was the guest of GMA 7’s
Unang Hirit morning show last week. (He was also the guest in ABS-CBN’s TrabaHula segment the same week, but I couldn’t peg a story on it. He also was the guest of the Sunday show
Kapuso Mo, Jessica Soho where he showed candor and surprising sensitivity, and displayed his comic side. But I preferred the banana story.)
It was a refreshing break from the media coverages that show him as a no-fuss type of guy who, like the chief executive of the land, doesn’t mince his words. He wore a gray camouflage combat suit that made him look ready to face the toughest drug dealer or mass murderer. But that morning, Bato looked tame and cuddly, like my nephew Pannon’s Paddington Bear. The interview highlighted his family-man manners; showed his tender side.
Bato glowed with pleasure, seemed to be in his element, dealt with ease personal questions as to whether he is a faithful husband (he is, according to his daughter through phone patch) and whether he is the boss at home (he is not; it’s mom, the daughter revealed).
Potential show biz career. The head of the national police can switch roles easily. My show biz expert niece Ellen said he can have a recurring role in a TV series. “He can be himself in the TV series Ang
Probinsyano or be a new warriror in Encantadia. For sure scriptwriters can find a new character to fit him in,” Ellen said.
Krystalle, my other niece, said, “How about a cooking show?”
Uncle Gustave joined us. “He has a good smile and if you don’t know his job, you’d think he’s into sports. Maybe he can star in a martial arts series.” Batoman. “Or why not a news program starting a new section on police matters? Bato can show tips on self-defense or how to know when someone is lying,” said Peetong, my cousin Dona’s husband.
“Why not a TV series based on his character? Create a superhero named Super Bato or Batoman. He will star in the premiere series, but later Batoman will have to be played by an actor,” I suggested. Show biz career aside, Bato was game enough to show his cooking skill. Kitchen Man. Unang Hirit has a cooking segment. That morning, Bato was not behind a police line, but a kitchen counter. Maybe for lack of time, he didn’t show how to make
pinaypay ( maruya in Tagalog or fanned out sliced bananas dipped in batter and deep fried). He stuck with minantikaang saging (sliced fried bananas), which reminded him of his humble roots.
It was sweet of him to mention his mother. Bato said that when he was still a kid, she showed him a quick way to prepare bananas for frying. He then took a piece of unpeeled
sab-a ( saba in Tagalog), and swiftly sliced the fruit in half. It amazed the show hosts. Only then did he peel the banana. It was easier that way and less messy.
Our story ends, as abruptly as the bananas got peeled and plunged in hot oil.