Addicted to love
Michelle: If there is a groovy kind of love, there is also an unhealthy kind of love. Can love be addictive? Maybe. When love becomes an addiction, it can destroy and affect the mind and body. But might it be that this is not love but lust? Can lust be confused for love? There is a saying, love conquers all. Then what about those times when, instead of conquering anything, it just messes everything up?
DJ: If one believes that love is all about chemistry, then he or she should not be surprised if it resembles a cascading release of dopamine, serotonin and norepinephrine. That’s what methamphetamine does. Now that drug pushers and users are surrendering, can it be possible to totally surrender to love? Seriously now, there’s got to be more than just spontaneous combustion for one to say he or she is in love. Love is not just all about feelings. True love has its way to ride the ups and downs of a relationship and of life itself. The most reliable indication is when two people grow.
M: A University of California, Los Angeles study found that people in generally excellent health were 88 percent more likely to die over the eight-year study period if they were single. And when love dies, so too often do the lovers. A study found that ending a marriage can increase a man’s risk of dying of cardiovascular disease by as much as 40 percent. I wonder if it has the same effect for women. Lack of love can also kill. And unrequited love gives one symptoms of poor physical health, lower self-esteem and the feeling of rejection.
DJ: Single people dying early sounds as implausible as the belief that good people die young. If that’s true, I could have died younger! Really, one needs to have a healthy love of self for one to be able to love another. Always seeking love can make one sick if that person does not learn to love and appreciate himself or herself first. We cannot give what we do not have. Even if you want to, what can you give if the relationship is leaving you bone dry? You have little or even nothing to give.
M: A love affair can also be unhealthy if your self-esteem depends on it. People whose identities are wrapped up in romantic relationships have lower self-esteem and are more self-conscious. These overly committed lovers base their self-worth on their relationship status so the slightest rejection can send them spiraling. The more people feel they may be sacrificing for their relationship, the less well they function and the more likely they are to show symptoms of depression. Many also resent constantly sacrificing for someone who does not reciprocate the way they expect the person to. Love can only be unhealthy if it is the wrong kind of love, with the wrong person at the wrong time.
DJ: Again, love is more than just feelings. True love is tough. And the truer love is when two people hope together, believe together that they can endure, forbear, forgive and love one another.