Of wigs and fake evidence

EMBATTLED Sen. Leila de Lima, who was linked to the illegal drug trade in the New Bilibid Prison when she was still justice secretary, trained her tirades Tuesday on Justice Secretary Vitaliano Aguirre II and his toupee.

“Secretary Aguirre’s alleged evidence against me is like his toupee, his wig – fake and cosmetics only. There is nothing into it other than that. Nothing’s authentic,” De Lima said.

The senator should better be sure in her comparison. Although some toupees and wigs are made of synthetic hair, many of them are made of real hair.

*** Many bald men wear wigs or toupees to disguise a bald spot or to cover the entire head.

But others are simply proud to expose their bald pates. And some of them even joke about their hair loss.

One friend told me when he had a full head of hair, he combed it according to what’s in style. Now, he said he styles it according to what hair is left.

*** My good friend, Engr. Vic Vosotros, a fellow member of the Cebu Toastmasters Club, said he isn’t bald. Hair simply didn’t grow on a portion of his head.

He even launched into a discussion on the meaning of which spot in the head the baldness occurs. “When you’re bald in front,” he said, “you’re sexy.” “When you’re bald at the back, you’re a thinker,” he said.

I pointed out he has no hair both in front and back. He said, “We’ll, I’m just thinking I’m sexy.”

*** People who wear wigs and toupees are sensitive and don’t usually talk about their hairpieces.

At least two senators who were once fugitives, Gringo Honasan and Ping Lacson, were reported to have worn wigs to evade law enforcers tracking them.

A friend I once cautioned to avoid the giant industrial fans, otherwise his wig will be blown off, is very proud of his wig. “At least, when I talk about my hair, it’s really mine, I bought it,” he said.