BONG WENCESLAO:

I haven’t written much about Valentine’s Day in all my years of writing columns. It’s not that I don’t recognize the universality of the celebration. it’s just that I felt I shouldn’t give it such a big importance that it does not derserve. Okay, I’m a killjoy.

Ihaven’t written much about Valentine’s Day in all my years of writing columns. It’s not that I don’t recognize the universality of the celebration. It’s just that I felt I shouldn’t give it such a big importance that it does not deserve. Okay, I’m a killjoy.

Recently, the Department of Health (DOH) proposed the distribution of condoms in schools, something that the Department of Education later shot down. DOH attempted to use the threat of the spread of the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) in relation to teenage sex to prop up its proposal. That didn’t work.

The debate on the issue had me thinking about our changing view of love and how the influence of western values in it have expanded considerably. What are the changes? Okay, let me count the ways.

--I am old school. When I went into a relationship, marriage was at the back of my mind. Meaning that I chose a girlfriend who was wife-material. And when I was in a relationship the goal was for us to deepen first our knowledge of each other’s character, including the flaws, in preparation for “forever.” (I must admit, though, that it was difficult to follow the old diktat against premarital sex.)

I don’t know if a study was done on this, but I reckon the number of our youths who enter into a relationship for relationship’s sake is growing. Years ago, a high-profile couple, both in showbiz, split up. Before that, the woman, because of her religious beliefs, claimed she was still a virgin and would only give up her virginity after marriage. Many didn’t believe her and even ridiculed her—a reflection of changing values.

--In my early years in the media, I was amused by the amount of coverage given to local motels during Valentine’s Day. Some married couples do celebrate love day inside motels but the joke was always about being with a partner other than the husband or the wife. Even then, extramarital affairs were largely frowned upon considering the Catholic upbringing of most Filipinos.

But we are in the age of Rodrigo Duterte and, years before that, the age of Erap (former president Joseph Estrada), when having extramarital relationships are flaunted. Digong and Erap interestingly got landslide victories in the elections. They may not have achieved that primarily because of their love affairs but still they won despite of these.

--Back to my previous refusal to write about Valentine’s Day. I actually feel the commercialization of the celebration has gotten out of hand, the reason why many couples have become obsessed with “making every Valentine’s Day memorable.” The change is in how love day is being made “memorable.” Almost always, spending is attached to that word. The mantra is that the bigger the spending, the deeper the love.

Okay, we still do hear people say even the giving of a Valentine’s card is enough. But it sounds more like that Esteban Escudero joke: “Ang pobre ug dato parehas ra, pero maayo gyud kun naa tay kwarta.” A Valentine’s card would suffice but it’s better to give flowers and chocolates, right? Expensive gift or cheap gift, that’s still about spending.