A spider tale

Everyone has heard the story about the persistent spider, who had a penchant for climbing up the waterspout, right? Every time when the rain fell, like clockwork, it washed out the spider, who just happened to be itsy bitsy. But when the sun came out and dried up all the rain, well, the spider with the never-say-die attitude climbed up the spout again.

Or how about the pesky spider who gave Little Miss Muffet the fright of her life?

Oh I could just picture the little darling. All prim and proper. Sitting on her tuffet, having a nosh of curds and whey—talk about eating organic--when, lo and behold, along came a spider, who scared the bejesus out of Little Miss Muffet.

And dare I not mention that radioactive arachnid, who bit Peter Parker?

After that incident, Peter discovered that he possessed, among others, superhuman strength, reflexes and balance. He also gained the ability to cling tenaciously to most surfaces, which, admittedly freaked out a lot of people. After all, it’s not every day you see someone scaling a wall without the help of climbing tools. Not that his costume helped.

I mean, why would you wear red and blue leotards in public? Heck, I wouldn’t even be caught in one in the privacy of my bedroom. But if you must--wear tights, that is--stick to black.

There are many stories about spiders, and most of them are scary, although I don’t understand what’s all the fuss about. It’s not like we’re talking about cockroaches. The flying kind.

But I bet you haven’t heard about the 78 spiders, who were rescued in the northern town of Consolacion last Thursday? I’m not pulling your leg. I’m serious. Apparently, the spiders were unwilling participants of a “derby,” which authorities described as a “blood sport.” (Mind you, I have seen my share of spiders who were accidentally squished and I’m pretty sure they don’t bleed like we do. Meaning, they don’t have red blood. And no, they don’t have green blood either. According to my research slash check out Wikipedia, the color of their blood is blue.)

And so elements of the town police headed by Supt. Mina Domingo took it to themselves to take the spiders out of their misery. God bless their soul. The five men police arrested will be charged with illegal gambling. They had staged the contest on a small table that served as the “roydahan,” or arena. It was there that the spiders, on opposite ends of a stick or a string, would have fought a duel to the death like modern-day gladiators.

Domingo said the arachnids, who were, thankfully, all alive after the operation, would be used as evidence against the suspects.

And I thought they’d be made to testify in court.