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Michelle: Jessica is a wallflower. She is an introvert who avoids being in the limelight. While she is hardly noticed in parties or gatherings, what she finds interesting though is people remember her when they’re in need. She’s somewhat okay with it but she wonders if there’s more to life than being a go-to girl to a person in need. DJ: The world is still a long way from treating introverts and extroverts as equals. While quiet people like Jessica are usually respected for what they do, it’s still the extroverts who often command the spotlight and reap much of the recognition. Yes, there’s more to life than her being a pop-up. And it starts with loving her authentic, kindhearted and compassionate self. M: Might it be that people think that Jessie is a “go-to” girl because despite staying in the background, she is someone who will help get things taken care of? While that is a good thing, I understand why Jessica might feel some kind of resentment or annoyance about the whole deal. Who wouldn’t do so if someone only remembers you when he needs you and conveniently forgets about you or doesn’t make the effort to connect with you? Jessica, you have to value yourself and appreciate your own worth. Even wallflowers that usually grow on cracks can emanate great beauty and attention. DJ: A number of introverts think they’ll be able to accept themselves better when they become outgoing or when they start behaving like extroverts. I hope Jessica is not feeling that way. Self-acceptance doesn’t come from special conditions. It’s unconditional. The fact that help is sought from her, then it’s likely that she’s in the position to give. She must have also established herself as a reliable and dependable person. And these are just a few of her many lovable traits she can nurture and grow. Besides, the people who remember her in time of need are only acquaintances, not friends. It matters that she knows who the real ones are, friends who hear her when she’s quiet. M: There is nothing wrong with being an introvert or a “wallflower.” You can bloom where you are planted or you can grow and go out of your comfort zone. And when there is growth, there are also growth pains. This might mean the pain of rejection and the pain of having to set limits so that others do not abuse you for your generosity and goodness. DJ: It’s good that Jessica is seeking support. Like almost every human, she’s also buoyed up by the compassion of others. I hope she has more friends she can be candid with, people she feels safe to say things out loud, relationships that get her into a place of greater self-love and compassion. I can liken her to a candle that’s remembered when there’s darkness and that, among others, makes her awesome.