Cooling off

Michelle: This is the story of Georgene who is in a relationship because all her friends are in relationships too. It’s been three years and she’s bored with her boyfriend. They hardly have anything in common. Should she let go or hold on? Let it go. You are being unfair to your boyfriend by pretending to have feelings for him when you don’t. DJ: Good conversation is fundamental for a strong and lasting relationship. If what they talk about makes her struggle to stay awake, if she would rather watch paint dry than listen to him gab about his passion, I think there is no point that they continue with the relationship. They already gave it three years of their life. I guess it’s time to leave and live. M: There are girls that string along the guy’s feelings because it is probably convenient to have a significant other than to have no one. It bears stressing though that if you have a relationship just because it is convenient or expected of you even when there are no real feelings of love and affection involved, it is going to be stressful. Just because everyone is into something does not mean that you follow suit. The bandwagon effect or herd mentality does not bode well as a basis for a relationship. DJ: Her other worry might also be how the breakup can potentially affect her boyfriend. But there really is no easy way to break somebody’s heart. That’s just how it is. Some problems in life require that we face the pain. So if she no longer has feelings for him, it’s time to stop avoiding what’s inevitable and just do it. While starting a relationship with him sounds like a mistake to begin with, this is her chance to correct it. Parting is best for both of them. It’s the right thing and the adult thing to do given their situation. M: What is the point of holding on to a relationship that is headed nowhere? While you and your boyfriend have not yet invested too much time, emotions, energy or even intimacies, end it before it gets complicated. You don’t want to be the woman in a 10-year relationship who one day will find out that her boyfriend has no plans of marrying her, nor do you want to have an unplanned pregnancy only for the guy to leave you because “it’s not you, it’s him.” Don’t be confused by what your group of friends feel with what you feel. Collective emotions of your group of friends should not be factored in your relationship with your boyfriend. DJ: Staying in a relationship when her emotions have cooled isn’t fair to both of them. I suggest that she no longer let him hang on to something that’s no longer there. Set him free. Let him go.