Having a baby
M:
Trixy is going to graduate this coming school year but just found out she’s two months pregnant. Her boyfriend promised to stay with her through and through. Her parents don’t know about it yet. Now what is she to do? Well, the first order of the day would be to tell her parents. The longer she keeps it from them, the more difficult it is going to be for her, not just emotionally but also physically. Break it to them gently and better if her boyfriend goes with her too. He did promise to be with her through and through.
DJ
Breaking the news appears insurmountable but time moves forward. Her pregnancy will continue to progress. I agree—the sooner she’ll tell her folks, the better. Thinking about how they usually react to surprises is a good starting point. Are they calm in crisis? Are they emotional and are easily stressed out? Do they yell or express themselves loudly? From there, she’ll have an idea on what her approach will be, prepare for their reaction, and how she’ll handle and manage the process of on-boarding them. M:
No matter what age a woman is in, telling one’s parents that she is pregnant when she is still unmarried is always a difficult thing to do. You don’t want to break your parents’ heart, let them be disappointed or get angry at you. But the alternative, keeping it from them and they eventually knowing it from others, will just have the same effect; even worse. So be honest and they will appreciate your honesty and eventually accept what happened. And lovingly welcome the new
DJ
If she has a sibling who she’s close with, she can tell him or her first. Not only will she have her practice, she’ll no longer have to go through the big family reveal alone. Being as direct as “Pa, Ma, I’m pregnant” often is an effective opening script. And after she’ll break the news to them, she’s got to allow them to absorb it, to listen and just let them vent. Use her idea on how they handle shockers by thinking ahead on how she’ll most likely feel and how she’ll manage it. Doing so makes her in control of the situation instead of being controlled by it. She’s got to remember that she’s way ahead of the curve. Like her, they may also react with feelings of shock, fear or disappointment. She’ll have to allow them to catch up first. Allow them their feelings. Then she can shift the discussion to how she’s feeling, the moving forward steps she’s planning to take and the support she hopes to get from them.
M:
The timing in Trixy’s case could not have come at the most inopportune time but there is a reason, and a season for everything. I think there is no question about keeping the baby. It is just the timeliness when she is supposed to be on the last stretch of finishing school before she moves on to other opportunities that come her way. But this is a great opportunity for her to grow in faith. Having a child is a blessing. Her child can spur her to be better, be braver, stronger, more inspired and more mature.
DJ
It’s very likely for her parents to step up and to walk with her in this new journey. Besides, trying situations have a way of bringing people closer and making their bond stronger. I’m optimistic that Trixy’s pregnancy will lead her to more experiences of kindness, forgiveness, acceptance and unconditional love.
apo!