What Bourdain, Spade deaths imply
We thought we knew them.
Anthony Bourdain was the brash, globe-trotting chef; Kate Spade the innovative and ebullient designer. The idea that people who seemed to have such full and fulfilling lives would kill themselves is a tragic reminder that celebrities who feel more familiar to us than some of our friends and neighbors are at the same time total strangers.
“We can’t predicate the entirety of a person from the portion of the image we see on TV, or in writing, or on social media,” said Dave Itzkoff, author of a new biography of Robin Williams, who killed himself in 2014. “The reality is that it’s only a fraction of who they are, the part of themselves they choose to put out and share.”
Little was known immediately about the possible causes of Bourdain’s suicide Friday, but the deaths of Spade and Williams, among others, often lead to the discovery of suffering known to few at the time or signs of trouble in plain sight, but overlooked.
Spade’s husband, Andy Spade, disclosed that she suffered from depression and anxiety and “personal demons.” In his Williams biography, “Robin,” Itzkoff drew upon recollections of colleagues, friends and family to show a man in dire physical and emotional condition, a terrifying kind of pain those who thought of the comedian as Mork or the genie in “Aladdin” could not have imagined.
“He wasn’t in good shape at all,” Williams’ makeup artist, Cheri Minns, told Itzkoff. “He was sobbing in my arms at the end of every day. It was horrible. Horrible.”
Some famous suicides are slotted into familiar and romanticized categories—the suffering writer (Sylvia Plath, David Foster Wallace), the tormented rock star (Kurt Cobain), the lonely sex symbol (Marilyn Monroe).
But there are no rules for why or when celebrities end their lives, any more than for those who aren’t famous. Some were in the seeming midst of vital careers (Cobain, Bourdain); others killed themselves just after creative breakthroughs (Plath), and others were confronting decline.
George Sanders, the droll character actor known for his roles in “All About Eve” and “Rebecca,” was in poor health in his final years and left a note saying he was “bored.”
Bourdain, 61, had traveled to Vietnam the year before for his “Parts Unknown” show on CNN, bantering with Barack Obama as the two enjoyed noodles and beer.
He had acknowledged his past troubles.
“I think of all my years cooking in hopeless restaurants—even that long period spent chasing dope or cocaine—was good preparation for a career spent in the entertainment sector,” he wrote in the bestseller “Kitchen Confidential.” “It’s nice, sometimes, to know how low you can really go, what kind of bestial behavior you’re capable of in times of extremis.”/
SUICIDAL BEHAVIORS
Talking about feeling hopeless, trapped, a burden to others or wanting to die.
Unusual mood swings or withdrawing from family, friends and usual activities.