Paolo’s list: How could infirm bishop or, ‘hala oy,’ Jollibee destabilize gov’t?

Former Davao City Vice Mayor Paolo Duterte’s list of “destabilizers” of President Duterte’s government must have been a joke, a bad joke but still a joke. How else could it be so patently and unbelievably filled with error or falsehood?

It could be a ruse for something else darker. Or such other conspiracy theories. Inevitably, suspicions arise and breed when the deed is done or the word is spread by the powerful or someone close to the powerful. This time it is the President’s eldest son, a former public official who is running for congressman in his city.

Near last weekend, Paolo posted screenshots of an Excel file that showed an “Anti-Administration Group” plotting to oust the Duterte government. It tagged Vice President Leni Robredo as leader of a “United Opposition.” No evidence presented, no basis or source cited.

Hostile reaction

What was Paolo’s List, which names groups identified as supporters of the president?

[] “Fake news,” declares Defense Secretary Delfin Lorenzana, meaning it is not based on information from the intelligence apparatus of the government and, as fake news goes, was concocted;

[] “Napaka-irresponsible”: Vice President Leni Robredo says she doesn’t know most of the people listed, including Liberal Party members, civil society groups, journalists, bishops, former public officials and retired justices, and leftist House members and private companies;

[] “Ano ba talaga, kuya?” Sen. Nancy Binay asks for Paolo’s basis, fearing that if the source is a government agency, public funds are wasted on inept intelligence gathering. The list, she said, spreads “misinformation and disinformation.”

One can be blunt, as Lorenzana is. One can condemn at the untruth stitched sloppily, as Robredo does. Or be incredulous and sarcastic, as Nancy seems to be (her dad Jojo Binay is in the list) when she says she will ask the Senate for more

Binay does not say the Duterte son’s Facebook post is a joke. Worrisome is that the supposed dossier may reflect on ineptness of military or police in gathering intelligence, which may affect national security.

funds to the intelligence budget.

The ‘plotters’

The list of individuals and corporations posted on Paolo’s Facebook wall includes a dead bishop, another bishop who serves mass on a wheelchair, a rabid pro-Duterte newspaper columnist, telecom giant PLDT and – you must have fallen off your seat when you first heard it – Jollibee and McDonald’s.

Some bishop may be accused of preying on altar boys, PLDT of occasional lapses in service, and the fast food chains of demolishing women’s stay-slim dreams and undermining the national anti-obesity health program. But conspiring to topple the government?

Burgers, chicken joys

The mention of Jollibee particularly invites disbelief and curiosity. What are the specifics of its alleged participation? The gnomes who drew up the list probably mean the Jollibee owners: did they provide funds and sites for meetings, along with “unli” supply of “chicken joys” and burgers?

It could be that the researchers/ writers tired of looking for names and places to put in the list. Filled with the take-out from store or waiting for the food, or just for the heck of it, the researchers inserted “Jollibee,” whose color blends with the “dilawan” in the list.

Top on the queries people would like to pitch at Paolo is “What the heck did Jollibee do?”

The goal served

And why did the wannabe congressman do it? Did he think it would help his candidacy, besides making a splash online, which people may applaud by “liking” and sharing his post?

If the purpose was to attack the perceived plotters and support the administration narrative that the president’s critics are subversive or seditious, it was bound to fail.

Not credible enough, although among “diehard and dyed-in-the-wool” believers, to whom facts may no longer matter, it was fuel for their passion.

All forms of obstruction along the national highway in Minglanilla will be cause for apprehension. JONATHAN TUMULAK, CAPITOL’S FOCAL PERSON ON TRAFFIC MANAGEMENT, ON EFFORTS TO PREVENT THE OCCURRENCE OF A MONSTER TRAFFIC JAM ON THE ROAD GOING TO THE SOUTH