Responsibility

My last article got some surprised—and alarmed—responses, probably due to the (mis)use of depressed (misconstrued with the condition of depression) to describe having moments of indescribable melancholy and gloom.

To reiterate my point: the article was not an attention-grab, nor a publicity stunt to garner people’s sympathy. It was an attempt to articulate and verbalize a complex mental health condition after having a few personal bouts with it. If I agitated a few experts out there with my simplistic approach, I apologize.

A few well-meaning people have given me options for chasing away the dark clouds—for which I am grateful. Regardless of my feelings, I will not shirk from my personal responsibility to take action and control situations that I can.

Responsibility is such a heavy word to throw around in this case—and many others— where people view themselves as victims and patients. But it is a necessary one. The last thing someone feeling down must do is stay down. This connotes movement and/or activity on the person’s part. As previously stated, “doing what you can,” varies from person to person, but the important thing is to do something rather than nothing.

Personally, this meant identifying the triggers for my dark moods and then finding ways to counteract these. I know that one of my triggers is when I stuff myself with not-evenclose-to-healthy foods, so I make sure none of those are around my immediate vicinity.

What I do instead is take a walk. I used to do this at my pencil-pushing desk job and would get weird looks when I had to “go to the bathroom” every hour. Walking calms me and centers me; I may not have all the answers to what’s making me anxious, but I am living, breathing and moving, and that in itself is already something to be grateful for.

It can be scary to take responsibility for anything, much less our feelings. Responsibility implies actively searching for answers and solutions instead of waiting for them to come. This doesn’t imply that you will have all the answers you want—the answers may even be contrary to what you expected them to be.

But this simple act of questing and seeking empowers you—that you are much, much, more resilient and tough than you give yourself credit for. The depths of despair can seem like an overwhelming chasm, but the strength of the human spirit—yours, whether you believe it or not—is stronger.

Acknowledge the existence of dark days—every one of us will have them. But also acknowledge the liberation that taking responsibility gives you. You don’t have to be alone in this, of course. Reach out to a friend, and then meet them halfway in their attempts to support you.

It’s this combination of self and others-centric help that will let us ride out the darkness until the next silver lining shows itself.