GRUDGE: GHOST OF YESTERDAY
Grudges are stuck up deep emotions out of anger, resentment and unresolved conflicts. When it is not dealt, accordingly - it can lead to a lifetime emotional distress that inhibits the wisdom of the heart to give way and to forgive, becoming a hindrance to freedom of the mind and the heart-depriving true healing, I would say.
Too often, people hold on to grudges uncomfortably and unwillingly, but it is the pain and hatred that is felt within, that causes the grudge to remain. Even, there is the wish to just drop the past, it is the feelings of injustices that occupies both the unconscious and conscious mind of the person that becomes the main obstacle to forgiveness, the only antidote to grudge.
But why do people allow themselves to hold grudges, when in fact, it hurts them more inside? Why do they make the past, up to now be in the present? Why are those wounds caused by the past, still controls their life? How can they let go of the ghost of yesterday? Let me share you, ways on how to let go of grudges and begin to live a happier life.
Do not internalize much. Control yourself by not dwelling in your pain of the past. Remind yourself that the memories of your injustices and pains can lead you to keep up grudges, and this can hurt you, moment by moment. Make a choice to live in the present and not in the memory of the past.
Think of the benefits. Count and feel the possible advantages of letting go of your grudges. This time, you will no longer carry a heavy load in your heart. Your day will not be a hell, every time you will see him or her or even just hear his or her name. And you will have a more positive beginning.
Remind yourself that forgiveness and letting go is a process. This cannot happen in an hour or in a day. Even if you decide to let go today, grudge can be stronger tomorrow because triggering memories can flash back. You need to be strong and have a heart to believe that you are stronger than the pains of your past.
Let go of your pride. The difficulty in forgiving is also due to pride – time and time again, pride can influence anybody’s downfall. Pride will weigh you down, as it will be hard for you to move forward. Pride and unforgiveness are surely a deadly mixture!
Change your perspective on how to let go of a grudge. Some people believes that they can only forgive, if the offender will ask forgiveness. Remember that in a world today, apologizing may or may not happen at all. So, do not expect for it to happen, because if you do, you may end up waiting for the rest of your life, which mean, that you will also hold of the grudge until your death.
Be responsible of your own peace. Do not rely on others for your happiness. Do not allow all the pains in the past and even in the present to ruin your beautiful life. Do not allow the hatred in your heart to dominate that will cause you to somehow break also other hearts and close opportunities that you deserve. Move on with a peaceful and forgiving heart.
So, let go of the poisonous past and live the abundantly beautiful present, and although some wounds run too deep for the healing, choose still to forgive because a life lived without forgiving is a prison.
As Steve Maraboli said - “Let today be the day you stop being haunted by the ghost of yesterday. Holding a grudge & harboring anger or resentment is poison to the soul. Get even with people... but not those who have hurt you, forget them, instead get even with those who have helped you.”