“MOTHERHOOD: Life Changing Role”

I am a teacher, a mom to two beautiful kids, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an entrepreneur. A woman. And among all the roles that I have to play in this life that I am blessed with, being a mom is the most fulfilling of all.

I am not sure if everyone will agree, others may have reasons to dislike the role. But motherhood for me is the real essence of being a woman. The role may come with too much responsibilities, but at the end of the day, you will give out a sigh and tell your self, I did it, and I did it well for another day.

When I was still single, I would watch my siblings tend to their kids. There was never a year that we do not have a baby in the house. I liked the smell of the baby powder filling the whole house as if it was naturally there. The whole house is in rage when the baby starts crying. I thought taking care of babies was easy that when something went wrong, it was too easy to blame and scold at my sisters. But I changed my perception when I experienced everything first hand. I guess you will never really understand unless you were there.

From that first day that I think I conceived. It wasn't just a morning sickness, it was a whole day sickness. The mood swings brought by the hormonal imbalance due to pregnancy, the sudden change in your appetite that you can no longer stand the smell of your favorite food. You will have to bear everything until your body adopted to the changes and the life inside of you have settled to her new home. And then there were the labor pains and, well in my case I did not have them for too long because I have to undergo the surgical procedure.

I wonder how my sisters and the other women out there survived the labor pains. But sure enough, it was not easy, I have heard and even know some who did not. Giving birth is just a start, the sleepless nights will follow afterwards. Changing diapers, the endless wailing that will leave you crying as well. It is not about the cry, I knew it too well that it is the only way that the baby will let you know that she needs something. I guess it is about being clueless of what she really needs even after checking everything that made hopeless the first adjective that will comes to my mind.

When her temperature starts to rise and I will have to file an emergency leave from work to bring her to the doctor, and self doubt will start creeping in, these are the days that I am questioning my ability of taking care of her. And then comes Super mom-in-law or my own super mom. They will start giving instructions that will work like magic. Suddenly she will stop crying, her heart beat starts settling, and as her sleep becomes deeper, she will smile, and I will start wondering if she is already dreaming.

These are the times that I realized how blessed I am, even when in doubt if I'd be able to raise her well, even when in fear of what might the future will bring, with all the negativity around, with the types of news that I hear all day, I knew I will give my best at being her mom.

I know that every mom have their own parenting style, and sometimes, what ever works with the type of surroundings where the kid will be raised is the best to use. It is either the hard way or the soft way. I wanted to be both. A strict and a lenient mom at the same time. The harder days will surely come. She will grow up soon and I will have to introduce her to a bigger world where it is not just me or dad. After the her first steps and her nursery rhymes, things will definitely change. .

Soon, I will have to set rules and boundaries that she might once or twice break. She will start meeting new people and choosing her friends. She will listen to music that will appeal to her taste as well as the type of books that she would want to read. And all that I can do is stay on the sideline and guide her through. Be a traffic police when I think she is going the wrong way.

I may not be able to force my own choices or beliefs to her, but at least I can give her a glimpse of what might be the outcome of the choices that she will make. She is a human with her own mind and heart, and I know I will never be able to control how she will think or how she will feel. But kids are like sponge, they do not have anything inside their head aside from human instinct when they were born. And everything that they will learn, they will absorb from the influences around them. And I, as her mom is the first role model that she will look up to. And for that I know I will have to be the best one that she could have.

I will make mistakes along the way too, and I will tell her that it is just fine to make mistakes. But I will try as much as I could to show her how to do it right. There will be times that she will trip off or stumble or fall. And she will have to stand up on her own. But I will stay at a safe distance to make sure that I will easily come to her rescue if I saw her getting wounded or bruised from the fall. She will have to learn how to clean the house or do the laundry or clear the sink and do them regularly. She needs to develop sense of responsibility. Because someday, mom may no longer be there to do these things for her. And mom will never let her go unequipped of this simple survival tasks. Mom will have to teach her first A,B,C and one, two, three until she will have to go to school to gain her formal education.

Soon her ABCs may progress into her first composition or even her first novel and mom will be the first one to buy the first copy. And some days, when I am struggling on how to make both ends meet in taking care of the bills and is about to cry from too much work, I will have to let her know that a kiss and a hug from her will lighten the load.

It will remind me that there are still too many reasons to stay up and grounded with all the pressures and stress that life has to throw at us. And just her presence will make a difference.

Now, more than ever, I appreciate my own mom, my mother-in-law and all the mother figures that were part of my life, my teachers from grade school up until I finished my studies, my aunts who have always been there during the absence of my own mom, my friends' mothers, my grandmothers and my godmothers. They may be different types of mother but they had been to me at some point in my life.

Being a mom to your own kids is not easy, and so is playing a mother's role to other people's children. Never hesitate to show your mother some affection, make them know that you appreciate them, they might not tell you about it, but you might be the only reason why they still keep on moving on. That the very same day that you were born is the same day that they realized their life's purpose. Give them a hug, or a kiss, bring them to a lunch date or cook their favourite food, you do not have to say a word, but make them feel that you are grateful for having them.

Happy Mother’s Day!