Duter-tired

placed on a desk, left there to attend to other things, and then it disappeared.

There were questions of course, why I didn’t put it behind a locked cabinet or drawer. The fact was, at that time, I didn’t have either. All I had was the Pollyannic disposition that a newsroom does not have thieves nor anyone inclined to steal. I learned my lesson hence, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t hurt.

I felt violated that within my office was a thief, I wanted to just break down and cry. We never found out who stole the camera. That incident left a hole in my heart, a feeling of emptiness upon the realization that at least one was not trustworthy. I’m glad to say that after that a year or two after that incident, and having lost several toys in between, the office became the office I have long assumed workplaces to be — where honest people reign and work their “arse” off. My trust returned, and I was in a happy place for two decades.

There are indeed assumptions we make that when we realize are not true, leaves that feeling of being violated.

Most likely, that’s how it is with the President too, and his men. Them whom he chose and appointed are chosen and appointed with the full trust that, “We’re all here to make a change!” The discovery that there are still those who are there only to feed their greed can grate at the nerves and wound the heart, and there is nothing more tiring than a wound in the heart.

— Stella Estremera