Perspective! OVERSTEPPING BOUNDARIES
DIVINA P. MENDOZA
Looking into those couple across the table, they share almost anything found on their plates. And needless to say, it is not an issue to them if one gets from the plate of the other.
But what if, I joined them and took a morsel of that schnitzel will they be delighted if I did so? Of course not. I might earn their ire or be called out for such intrusion.
Then at the dance floor, two old people are dancing and they are partners in tango; one accidentally stepped foot onto the foot of the other but since it was not intentional it was not imbued as offensive. But what if I jiggled with them and stomped on the foot of each of them I guess, they will get enraged.
This is what one ought to experience when people overstep on to their boundaries.We know exactly what it is but at times even with the closest to us but we often disregard this as we are so comfortable with them that we tend to forget to be considerate.
But this also happens not only with those dear to us but also those we encounter. And I could say, it is not fun at all to be in the receiving end of such.
Imagine laying ground work for a project solely entrusted to you at work -planning, research, execution of the work, etc. And then somebody barges without asking permission to do the task that you should do. How then would you make out of that?
A disclaimer as I have no intent to wash dirty laundry in public; but going through this seems like someone tries to manipulate me.
But I was aware of the fact that the person has this dark intent to share the clout with me. As for me, I am not the type to want more and more recognition but was attuned to just finish the job. However, I have built everything from ground up and she just walked in.
Not only once, not twice, but thrice or more. Jeopardizing my work. And when you confront such person, they seem to look at it as a personal attack. Whence, exactly that tries to maneuver, control the situation.
She never seem to recognize that her work is not mine, and my work is not hers. And as she continues to disrespect my boundaries, people that I work with also gets confuse. And makes me double up my effort as I need to have a sort of “clean up” and “damage control” for her utter intrusion.
Yes, it makes me mad and feel violated in so many aspects. But, when I pause and look at it from a good vantage point, I somehow realize that there are just people who thrive with external adulation.
For someone who is introverted and reflective, I do not clamor for such thing as influence or power. I draw strength from things from within and validation not outside of myself.
Somehow, I pity her as perhaps when the lights go out and the deafening applause are silenced and no one is there to cheer her on sadness creeps in…
And I on my part, does not need all those things just to find joy in myself. I know I am self sufficient just the thought that I have my family and a few number of friends who are true to me. A roof above my head, food to consume each day.
Thing is, for me winning is not engaging with those tactics. Not even dancing to her own music. As for me, no more trespassing of boundaries. And if I say no, then be it. And for someone who does not respect people’s space, it speaks not of those they abuse but it says volumes about what is going and rotting on their insides.
To win over a manipulator is not to play at all. But just be happy because one’s self is in control. I then not let her pick something from my plate, nor step onto my shoes. Because I deserve to.
-oOoThe author is SST III Francisco G. Nepomuceno Memorial High School