Raising selfish children

SELFISH people, just like the selfless, mostly learned their traits due to small practices and observations at home. What will be inculcated in the hearts and minds of children who grow up seeing the following? Blessings and privileges, even the simple pasalubongs, are equally divided. The house help is given the same kind of food that everybody eats (perhaps in larger quantities, because this person needs more energy). The needs and preferences of all family members are considered, even in planning meals and choosing travel destinations. No particular person is given all the considerations or gets the best part of the pie all the time. Everyone has a role or obligation – and an authority figure sees to it that it is carried out. Kind acts toward other people are encouraged, even if the recipients will not be able to return the favor.

Show all these things and you help develop young people who know how to consider other people and care about their needs. Show the opposite and you contribute to the rise of selfishness. “Me first!”

What comments go with the practices? “Huwag kang maingay. Mas marami ang chocolates mo.” It seems harmless, but a child who sees that he or she can get more of anything from somebody who plays favorites learns a lesson that might influence either a selfish or a selfless decision later in life (depending on the child’s reaction to the experience).

“Ba’t ka nagkaganyan?” (goes Ka Freddie’s song). What did you teach? What do you tell young people and kids through your words and examples? What offenses and harmful habits are ignored and downplayed? What will happen to these young people and kids if their beliefs and behaviors go unchecked?

Marilyn Arayata: inspirational author, columnist, and speaker. E-mail inspire.equip@gmail.com. Like the Hope Boosters Facebook Page for nuggets of hope and inspiration.

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