All by myself

Dear Manay Gina,

I’m a teen-ager who would probably be with other teens my age. On the contrary however, I don’t have friends and don’t care too. It’s not because I’m afraid of people, I just feel more comfortable by myself. I also notice that things that bother other people, don’t bother me at all. I have learned to shut off my emotions. It seems life is easier that way. On the other hand, I enjoy being close to the opposite sex. To be honest, when I was young, I was molested many times, and the man attempted to rape me but was caught. Do you think it had an effect on my behavior? Also, is there anything I should do to become more “normal?”

Glenda

Dear Glenda,

It’s probable that you are isolating yourself as a reaction to what you perceive will hurt you. You see, sometimes our psyche shuts down feelings as a protective reaction. To avoid the power of feeling betrayed, we can blunt our emotional awareness to the point where we can become numbed. This shouldn’t be the norm because if you shut down due to negative feelings, it is also going to affect your positive feelings.

I would highly recommend that you seek counseling. Being able to talk about your feelings, or the lack of them, is a good place for you to begin with. I am convinced that those prolonged molestations have created an emotional reaction that makes sense in terms of protection, but may also be keeping you from feeling good. I wish you well.

With affection, Manay Gina

“Tragedy in life normally comes with betrayal and compromise, and trading on your integrity and not having dignity in life. That’s really where failure comes.” – Tom Cochrane

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