When love and you collide
Once upon a time, a young, not so hot, boyish shorthaired teenage girl, had a crush on her batchmate from a lower level of the building of the school – the all boys level. Everyday she calls him to know how his day went and will talk about his lovelife --- ouch! And all. This “telebabad” thing lasts 3 hours everyday. And everyday, she puts herself on the friend zone just to hear his voice, get to know him — well, connect to him everyday. She even prepares his visual aids (if it’s all about artwork) for his report. Take note, he’s the longest crush she had and she accepted the fact they will never become more than friends. She thinks she’s not enough — the gap is like heaven and earth as most call it.
Guests, fellow toastmasters. Good morning!
Have you ever been in that kind of dilemma? “why, why can it be the 2 of us, why can’t we be lovers, more than friends?” over and over and over again.
You hear the lines “it’s not you, it’s me. You deserve someone better.” “I like you as a friend.” “can we be best of friends?”
Oftentimes, we settle to less than we deserve. We settle to hook-ups and flings just to satisfy the temporary feeling of being wanted and desired but not lasting. We mistakenly identify the fleeting feeling that it’s love when it’s not.
Some ladies wished that they were a boy so they can woe to whoever they want. Men, on the other hand sometimes wished they become a girl so they can take revenge to those women who rejected them.
Why is that? why can't those we love love us back? Why can't we love those who love us?
According to huffintonpost.com, “More often than not, when we’re really attracted to someone, but they don’t like us nearly as much in return, it’s because we are in that space of insecurity, neediness and unworthiness. We feel like we’re not good enough and we’re nervous about being rejected.” And so we do stuff to please them, treat them like a king or queen but at the end of the day, bye-bye, we’re thrown out the window because they’re not just that into us.
The same goes to people we don't like that much. We put them in the friend zone and I'm guilty of that I'm so sorry boys. I like men.
If we find ourselves constantly in this place of the other person breaking things off with us early on because they’re just not that into you, then congratulations! Welcome to the club! It’s a problem that needs to be fixed if we ever want to experience a healthy and loving relationship. We can’t really experience love in our lives when we’re bounded by feelings of fear on the inside – fear of
losing him/her, fear of not being good enough, fear of not loving hard enough.
I have picked 3 tips from different sources that helps and hoping it could help you too:
1. Take out all your fears – relationships and love are one of the top fears everyone has according to a survey from chapman university. it says here that 17 percent comprise the fear of relationships other than 25.9 percent fear of public speaking. In spot.ph there's this fear of being single which is anuptaphobia there's also this fear of falling in love which is philophobia.
You see we have so many fears and insecurities in life. we're seen as like we're totally together but actually we're really emotionally unavailable.
2. Have the right mindset – Im wearing a black dress today because they say black attracts heat and obviously it's hot. anyway, have the right mindset. take out that esoteric view about love. according to Dr. Joe Vitale on law of attraction. it's really important that you feel good. because this feeling good is what goes out as a signal into the universe and starts to attract more of itself to you. so the more you can feel good the more you will attract the things that help you feel good and that will keep bringing you up higher and higher.
3. Be you’re ideal mate -– how do you wanna be treated in a relationship? you wanna be loved? love yourself. You wanna be respected? respect yourself. You want him/her see your worth? see how you're worth.
Friends, don’t think that finding the right one already solves your single-ship status. It won’t. Be the right one. Take your time. Don't rush. Get to know yourself more, get to know what you love. It guides you to the right people for your life.