True listening is an unselfish act

Sherrie M. Johnson in the book, “Daily Inspiration, Chicken Soup For The Recovering Soul,” exclaims, “One of the best gifts I can give a person is my full attention when they need someone to listen.

Truly listening is an unselfish act. Without saying a word, we can give the gift of insight and perspective to someone who is struggling with a problem, processing the changes in their lives, or thinking through a new idea. For best perception, tune in. There is no need to offer advice. All we need to do is open our minds and hearts to hear what is being said.”

I remembered when my eldest son Saldy was a teenager, he would go to my room and asked if I have time to listen to him. He would say, “Mom are you sleepy? Can we talk?”

My conversation with my son and my other children was a kind of bonding. I always had the time to listen to them no matter how busy I was. I felt that it was in those moments where I had the chance to listen the yearning and aching of their hearts and soul. Those moments were so precious that until now when I look back, it felt nostalgic. I would say that I was there when they needed me. Even until now when my children would call me through skype or viber, or email.

True listening is an act of kindness that one can give. No matter how busy we are, we should give time to listen to someone, either they are love ones, friends or acquaintance. You would never know that the time to give to them could be a moment wherein you can make their day or save a life. An actress was about to commit suicide if not for a friend who gave time to listen to her. Let’s not take for granted the call of a friend, a love one, or even a new acquaintance for that matter.

What is true listening? According to communication experts Carl Rogers and Richard Farson, listening is a primary way to develop relationship. We often take listening for granted because we assume it’s the same as hearing- instinctive. As a result we make little effort to learn or develop listening skill.

How should we listen? Here are some tips offered by “wikiHow.com,”:

*Remove distractions. The first thing you should do when someone starts talking is to put away anything that might distract you from his or her words. Turn off the television, close your laptop and put down anything else you are reading or doing. It’s very difficult to hear and understand what someone is saying when you are surrounded by other sounds or activities vying your attention.

*Stay focused. When the other person speaks, focus on what they are saying. Don’t let your mind jump ahead to what you think should say in reply.

*Be emphatic. Another key to listening is being able to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. If someone is confiding in you about his or her troubles, step outside yourself and imagine what it’s like to be him or her. True communication happens when people understand each other.

A wise man once said, “God gave you two ears and one mouth. Listen more than you talk.” That means you should be listening more than you’re talking.