Control your temper before it goes out of hand
Are you one of those who easily lose their temper even on trivial matter? Here’s what Andrea Brandt, Ph.D., M.F.T of “Psychology Today website” says: “Anger can blow up your relationships. It can also affect your health. Your childhood experiences may have created lasting emotional wounds that causes you to flare up easily…”
A young acquaintance confided that her girlfriend easily gets angry. At first, he didn’t mind it. But as they become closer, he realized that her being irritable becomes a pain in the neck. He asked me whether he should break-up with her because her temper ruins not only his day, but also their relationship. I told him that he has to talk it over with her so that she would be aware of her behavior.
The Mayo Clinic, in their website, asks, “Do you fume when someone cuts off in traffic? Does your blood pressure rocket when your child refused to cooperate? Anger is normal, but it’s important to deal with it in a positive way. Uncontrolled anger can take toll on both health and your relationships.”
In line with this message, our source points out some anger management tips. Here they are:
Think before you speak. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything.
Once you’re calm, express your anger. As soon as you’re thinking clearly express your frustration in an assertive, but in a non-confrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly without hurting others or trying to control them.
Get some exercise. Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel you’re anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities.
Take a timeout. Timeout aren’t just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time help you feel better prepared to handle what’s ahead without getting irritated or angry.
Don’t hold a grudge. Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.
Use humor to release tension. Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what’s making you
angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have on how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, it can hurt feelings and make things worse.
Practice relaxation skills. When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deepbreathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as “Take it easy.” You might also listen to music, or do a few yoga poses – whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.