“First attempt in learning”

(First of two parts)

The feeling of intense pain all over her body as if the world was bearing down on her. Six, seven, eight, ten; cervix fully dilated and we are at the last part of labor where this cute baby was delivered into this world. That baby grew up and is standing in front of you giving out a speech.

All of us were born into this world devoid of knowledge, skills, and emotions aside from hunger and pain. We are a clean slate waiting to be filled with experiences; a blank journal that would be overflowing with the stories. We are all born empty! And in between growing up are failures. We can never deny the fact that it’s bound to happen in one way or another. The only

differences is, how we handle it.

When we fail, we always ask ourselves why, why…WHY? But I have discovered that WHY is also the answer. It is actually a way to beat failure. This translates to the following: W = what is failure?, H = how to overcome failure?, and Y = you are the master of your life.

Get a piece of paper and fold it to come up with three columns. On the first column, write down “W”, then “H” on the second one, and “Y” on the third. You will fill these columns as we go along with my speech.

Failure is the lack of success. But its definition is really up to you. It comes in different forms and situations; affecting our lives in various ways. It may be with your family, or your friends; with your current job; your academic life; or in your relationships. This is something that we can definitely avoid but when it strikes us, it strikes us hard.

It creates an adverse effect in our lives and disrupts the balance that we have. Once a person experiences failure and is unable to cope, this can lead to socio-behavioral problems. People turn to vices like alcohol, gambling, and even drugs. While others isolate their selves from the world and enter into depression, worst is, it can lead to suicide.

Talking about this, I had my fair share of failures in life. The one thing that stuck to me the most was when I failed in my academics while in college. I was in junior year taking up nursing. I had struggles keeping up with my grades because of the overwhelming demand from my school. I was still adjusting because this was the stage wherein the practical side of nursing is being learned through clinical practice. I still have to attend lectures in between hospital duties. At the end of the semester, I failed the major subject and was advised to either transfer to another school or wait another year and repeat the subject.

I was devastated; because I studied so hard yet it was

not enough. I felt left behind by my batchmates and friends. Worst is, my parents got mad. Hurtful words came out; constant blame was pointed out; and I was told I was not good enough. They had high expectations for me and I let them down. The knife that pierced through my heart is when they told me they can were never proud of me; I was waste of money. I became sad and hopeless. I was a failure to the eyes of my teachers and my family.

Going back to your piece of paper, please write down a situation where you experienced failure under the first column. Just write a brief description about it.

Moving forward, time passed by and I was able to recover and move on. I received support from my classmates who were in the same situation as I am. And through time, I was able to overcome that failure. While looking back at that situation, I examined as to what made me overcome it. I was able to come up with three solutions.

First, is to remind yourself that you are good enough. Think back of all the things that you have learned and consider yourself unique. No one is created perfect; so empower yourself that you are capable of doing great things.

Second, is to avoid self-comparison. Comparing yourself to others will just bring feelings of inadequacy and jealousy. At this stage, focus on yourself! You are not being selfish because once you are comfortable with yourself, it’s easy to share who you are to others.

And third, learn from your failures. It is imperative that you do. Because if you keep on failing and not learning from it; that is considered as stupidity. It is by learning that we realize our strengths & weaknesses. Always remember that “F.A.I.L.” is the “First Attempt In Learning.”